Mother of Many (M.O.M.)

Star Chart and Allowances Questions

2012-01-06T01:14:00.000-08:00

"We are starting the implimentation of the "Star Chart"... I am pretty sure on most aspects of it. However, in looking at your chart online, I was finally able to make out the middle column, Wages... Do you actually give your children allowences or is that how much they have earned and cashed in from previous charts? You mentioned in your blog that you would cover "allowences" later...and maybe this is that.

Also, we have 2 small children who are not of the age of 5. One will turn a hand in July, so this will be good for her to see in action before hand... but in the meantime...they are going to want to earn stars and such. and we do not want to discourage their desire to take part in jobs around the house. So, what would you recommend for the 2 smaller ones..."

Yes, the middle column is wages, which is part of our allowances. The kids get paid for three separate things. The first one is the star chart. Every time they do those chores, they get a star. At the end of two weeks, anything over ten stars not cashed in for staying up later or for tv and wii is paid as one quarter per star.

The second thing our kids get paid for is their wages (the middle column). That is basically their wages for helping out the family with their personal responsibilities which are in the third column. Instead of paying them each day to keep their rooms and bathrooms clean, they get paid one time on pay day. The trick is that they can get docked a quarter each time a reminder is given. They don't make their bed, their pay is deducted by one quarter. You find that their bathroom is messy, they get deducted another quarter, and so on. The other things about wages is that it increases by 50 cents each time they have a birthday. This shows pay raises for maturity, but this also includes increased responsibility. It is not a given pay raise, it is an earned pay raise. Give them slightly harder jobs for that extra 50 cents.

The third thing our kids get paid for (every two weeks) is the big house cleaning day. We used to pay someone $50 to clean our house back when I was homeschooling our older two and had three younger ones at home. Now that they are older and we all have time, we clean it ourselves. So instead of paying someone else, I pay them. However, since they made the mess they are cleaning, I only pay about $25 for the house to be cleaned. It's not the same as being paid to clean up someone else's mess. I break down the $25 based on how much each child is responsible for and how well they take care of their chores. Therefore, I pay our older daughters the most because they pull the most weight in chores. They get about $7.50 each and the younger ones get between $3-4.50 depending on how much they do and how well they do it.

Here's an example of a breakdown on payday for Alaizha:

Cashed in 15 stars $3.75
Wages $5.50
Two-week chores $4.50
Total $13.75

Out of this they need to pay 10 percent to tithes and another 10 percent to savings. The rest is theirs to spend.

Now they have money to pay you for all the times you have to remind them to do things, pay their siblings back for broken toys, or to purchase their own want items. When we go to the store, we don't buy our kids things. They know that is what their payday is for. They get special requests for birthdays and Christmas, but other than that, they buy their own toys. On occasion, we will see something with which we want to bless our children. We'll buy it for them because we know they are not demanding or expecting it and that they will see it as a gift. However, be careful not to bless them with gifts too often or they will know you'll give them what they want and there is no need to save up their money. Then you run into laziness because they can afford it.

For the children under five years old, watching older siblings receive the blessings of this system only whets their appetite to be included. Be sure to keep it a privilege though so they are excited when they turn five and are finally added to the chart. The reason for waiting until five is that it is hard for younger kids to understand delayed rewards. They need to be positively reinforced right away. So the reward system that we used for our boys before they turned five was small candy. The boys expressed interest in sweeping the kitchen after meals. So I set out three skittles, or two tic tacs, or a couple of m&ms - just small candies that won't ruin their appetite, but will be enough to encourage them to do a good job. I told them they had five minutes to sweep as much into their dust pan as they could. They had to show me what they swept up before they threw it in the trash. The key is making them utilize the full five minutes and verifying that they actually swept something up, not how well the floor is actually done. An older child or you may still need to sweep again. But they see that they are helping and contributing to cleaning after meals. If they throw a fit because it has not been five minutes and you are telling them to keep sweeping, take one candy and eat it. In the beginning, they will most likely cry harder. Take another one. Eventually they will see that you only pay for their help when they are compliant. You see, some kids will do what you want for a reward and have a bad attitude about it. You are telling them that they need to have the right attitude also before they get paid or the reward is lost. If they give up sweeping, no loss to you because you were already going to sweep again. They are the ones who missed out.

My caution with younger ones is not to give privileges they haven't earned through maturity - like vacuuming or spraying cleaning chemicals. Most kids like these parts of jobs. Yet they need to be mature enough to think through things like stretching the vacuum chord, unplugging and plugging back in (and not by the chord, but by the plug itself), thoroughly vacuuming an area, adequate amounts of spray, correct area to spray, washing hands before touching anything else, etc. Little kids get little jobs that are easy to monitor and cause no harm to themselves, others, or things if they choose to misuse it and lose the privilege of it.

Some examples of things that children under five can do are:
sweeping
carrying plastic dishware and silverware to the counter after meals
putting away plastic dishware and silverware
setting the table for meals
folding clothes and towels
picking up toys
taking out small trash cans

I hope this gives you enough clarity to start a star chart with your kids. Let me know if you need anymore clarification. Those are good questions that you asked! : )

Melissa

Arguing

2011-12-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

A friend asked a question today about kids constantly fighting. Here is the response I gave her.

We have had many of those days. : ) Let me share a tidbit that worked in our family. We made them go into a walk-in closet or somewhere that is closed off and neutral territory for all kids involved (ie, not one of thier rooms!) and told them they couldn't come out until they solved the problem on their own. Life continued while they were in the closet. We have continued watching our movie, or continued with snack, we have even started and finished dinner while some of them were arguing it out. Once they come out, they realize all that they missed out on and hopefully get the message that life does not come to a standstill if they want to fight. In the meantime, I didn't got back and give them what they missed. No rewinding movie, no missed snack, or dinner. Nothing! They next time they started to fight, I would ask them if they need to solve it in the closet. Now they go in there less frequently, and come out much quicker in a better mood because they resolved it on their own.

I only get involved if their is physical aggression which at that point I seperate them and when they cool down, they try again. No freedoms until they have resolved the issue themselves. If I do have to get involved, they pay me for my time by doing a chore of my choosing together. Again, no freedoms until they are done. The kids get along so much better now and think before they decide if it is worth it to argue over such menial things. The cost of missing things is usually not worth it, so they drop the issue before it becomes an argument.

Expect the first time to last a while because they don't realize what they are missing yet. Each time after should be less and less as they see you follow through with not allowing them to makeup that missed time.

Let me know if that helps! : )

Melissa

A disrepectful child

2011-11-30T02:21:00.000-08:00

Another question and response...

How do you handle a disrespectful child?

A simple technique we employ is make the child try again! If the child says something disrespectful to say, “That was disrespectful, why don’t you try that again in one minute.” This timeout of sorts make the child reflect on a better way to address you while you carry on about your business. Also, tag team defense is the great way to handle this. If Melissa is having a conversation with one of our children and they are disrespectful to her, I will sometimes interject and say “Don’t treat my wife like that! If you can’t treat her with honor and respect in your words, you will show her by folding some laundry (or chose a chore/punishment).” Melissa likewise will interject for me. This shows the children that the marriage is central, solid, and the focal point of family harmony.

With older children, like a 9 year old, you can have them write some verses that explain their fault. When they treat you disrespectfully, you could use Proverbs 30:17, Proverbs 6:20-22, Proverbs 20:20 and Ephesians 6:1-3. Don’t forget the training mindset. Your children must not be allowed to disrespect you, because it is their sin. Confront it as such, and bring God into the conversation. Have them apologize to you and to God when the situation is resolved. Melissa and I recently removed some privileges from one of our children due to disrespectful behavior. She has apologized and made amends, but we haven’t removed the discipline yet. She will endure it until she has shown sustained progress in this area. With older children, disrespect is contagious and can spread to your younger children. Teach your children to model good behavior to their siblings. You may have them explain their wrong doing to their siblings if the disrespect happens in front of them. This way, the child can show what they have learned and show their sibling that it was not acceptable behavior, and you will prevent future recurrences or the perception that this behavior is acceptable.

Lastly, try to give your child a safe outlet to express gripes and complaints. Train them to do it respectfully, and you might be surprised to hear what they have to say. You could become the world’s greatest parent in no time!

Mike and Melissa

Whining

2011-11-30T02:13:00.000-08:00

Here's another question and response...

4 yr old daughter has constant whining, how do you stop it?

Our experience with whininess has been EXTINSIVE and we have been quite successful at putting an end to it using the following technique. First of all, we believe stopping a whiny child starts with the changing the parents reaction. The primary reason children whine to their parents is that it is successful! Whininess is a learned behavior, and the child learns at a young age that making a high piercing offensive noise garners the care and attention to get their way. In order to stop the behavior, you need to change the rules of the game. The technique is very simple, four simple words. “I can’t understand you.” You choose not to understand anything said in a whiny and disrespectful way. Remember, you are training your child, so don’t reward them and train them to whine (i.e. give them what they want when they whine). Train them to be respectful! When they make their requests in a polite and respectful tone then you give them attention. You may not always give in to their respect, but you can give them the attention they want when they address you appropriately. Now they are learning to get attention is to be polite and respectful to mom and dad.

When you begin to use this technique, initially it will be very difficult. Your child has years of learned behavior to overcome, to finally find their whininess is not responded to will make them escalate. You must be committed to be patient and loving during this time. If the child steps up to a level of direct disobedience and defiance you need to take care of that in addition to the whininess. The best way to get a child with a tantrum under contol is isolation. Make sure to have them apologize to you and to God when they finally calm down before getting what they want. This could take hours at first, but the reward is worth the wait. Eventually, your child will be trained that when they whine, they don’t get what they want. Here’s a role play to help you understand.

You are in the store. “Mom, can I have a candy bar.” “I’m sorry, you didn’t say please.” *WHINY* “Mom, can I have a candy bar please” “I can’t understand you.” *WHINY* “I said please!” No response. *WHINY* “I said please!” no response. Correct tone, “Mom, can I have a candy bar please.” “No.” *WHINY* “WHY?” “I can’t understand you.”

On and on this will go until the child has learned the new behavior. Don’t be afraid to walk out of a store and sit in the car for a while if this escalates to a tantrum. Also, give them clear consequences for wasting your time if they do this. “This is not appropriate behavior for the store, if you don’t calm down we will go to the car (or other suitable place for isolation). If we go, you will pay me for my wasted time by doing some chores for me. Mommy’s time is valuable. What is your choice, calm down, or go to the car?”

This must be a credible threat, so don’t threaten with anything you can’t follow through with.

Mike and Melissa

Rules for the Star Chart

2011-11-28T10:03:00.000-08:00

The Star Chart

This is an idea that came together with my teaching background and other parenting books that talk about positive discipline methods. In a nutshell, a child is rewarded with a star for positive behavior. Then they cash them in for earned privileges like staying up later, watching more TV, or earning extra money.

So the next question might be, how does a child earn a star? Well, I set up a list of chores that were age appropriate for my kids and explained to them that if they finished the job well and without complaining, they would earn a star. For our star chart, one star is worth less than ten minutes of work. (Note: This is not based on how long they actually take to do it, but how long you think it should take to be done correctly. A child can take a five minute task and turn it into thirty. Therefore, the task is still only worth one star.) An example would be sweeping the kitchen floor. Anything more than ten minutes of work, I give two stars. An example of this would be doing laundry. If they end up working hard helping you with something, feel free to give more. When our kids help out with yard work, cleaning the cars, spring cleaning or things similar to that, I will give them more stars. We just put those under a miscellaneous column.

Refer to the previous post for an example of how you might set up your own star chart. With our own, I use the star symbol for all of the children. However, they each have their own color. I’ll cover the “allowances” part later, but it is included on the chart for a purpose.

I left a few blank rows so that once a row is filled up, you can use another row rather than having to recreate the chart. Also, you’ll use numbers under the stars. I put the date under them to help me remember if I have rewarded the child for each task they have completed. Plus, this allows the child to keep tabs too. Once the star is cashed in, it is circled. A star chart can be used for several months if made large enough. Now you have a way of keeping track of how efficient they are being with their chores.

You can alter the chart to have anything on it. Our main categories were dishes, floor (for the kitchen), trash, cat box, table (for the kitchen), special (anything that is not covered by the other categories - shoveling snow, weeding the garden, etc.), laundry, and recycling. You may have other chores that you do on a regular basis. Include those too. If done regularly, like on a weekly basis, I would give it it’s own category. When you have exhausted that category, start a new row with one of the original empty ones.

When using the “special” category, you can also decide what they can earn for their stars. They may be helpful in the kitchen and you want to reward them for not having to be asked. You may see them doing a thorough job without having to be reminded of what is expected of them. You can reward them by doubling the stars if they do their chores without complaining. However, be careful to use these infrequently as to surprise them and so they do not expect a reward every time they do what is normally required of them.

The idea is for you to adapt a chart to meet your family needs. Be flexible and creative when designing it. Make it colorful with markers, stickers, glitter glue etc. Let the kids help you make it. It should look more kid friendly than professionally made. Have the kids pick out what color should represent them. This should be something that represents the kids in the family in a fun way.

The most important thing is to be consistent with it. If a child does not see you honoring your word by giving them the stars or if you fail to take them when they have cashed them in, the system will not work. When they ask to cash in stars, have them watch you circle them. When you give them stars, have them watch you put them on the star chart. This lets them know you mean what you say. In addition, count their stars often so they can see the fluctuation of cashing in and earning the stars.

Here are some guidelines I have with our star chart. The child needs to be at least five years old to use this. It is hard for a smaller child to understand delayed gratification with cashing in the stars. They do not understand the concept of working hard during the week so they can stay up a little extra on the weekend. Plus, you can use the delayed privilege method to work on building trust to carry out the responsibilities on the chart. Use anticipation to help them be eager about being added to the star chart on their fifth birthday. If you build it up, they will be excited to do their chores once they have obtained the privilege to do so.

On the other extreme, a child is too mature for the star chart when they become a teenager. By the age of thirteen, you will have an ample supply of rewards and punishments to use with them. The rewards they will now receive will be earned with your trust which cannot be calculated with stars and cashed in for extra money or privileges.

Now that you know how to set a star chart up, I want to share some rules we use with ours:

-Stars are not given for sloppy work.

-Chores are given a plentiful time limit, but once outside that time limit, the star is no longer given. At that point I give them the star, but immediately circle it. It is logged that they did the chore and cashed in because they took too long.

-If a child hurts a sibling or their belongings, they can use stars to pay retribution. For this, I use the offended child’s pen to circle the offender’s star and put the offended child’s mark on top ready for cash in. This also allows for you to see if there is a pattern in offensive behavior.

-Chores can be changed from child to child, especially as they earn the privilege to do more chores. The different colors or symbols keep track of who had the last turn.

-Sometimes our children have to do chores for each other. The child who was supposed to initially do the chore still receives the star.

-We require that our kids keep at least a ten star balance when they cash in their stars. This ensures that they have enough to pay for privileges or offenses before they have the opportunity to earn more.

-If a child runs out of stars, they cannot pay for their privileges and therefore cannot use them. This is where consistency is key. Only let them have what they have truly earned. In addition, if they are out of stars, but have an offense, they must now pay with their money one quarter for every star they do not have.

Again, this chart can be adapted and changed in any way to meet the needs of your family. It does not have to be exactly like this. The only MUST is consistency with whatever system you use.

More discipline techniques to follow... Amen! ; )

Mike and Melissa

Star Chart

2011-11-28T09:48:00.000-08:00

We recieved several requests about our star chart. Here was our reply.

Dear Friends,

This is the version of the star chart we currently use in the house, but you can create anything you like and customize it to your house.

The keys are to associate the star with "freedoms". It's what your children want and has real life applicability with money. The nice thing about stars is that they cost you no money and can be very useful to pay "fines". For example, pay your brother two stars when you are mean, you owe mom two stars for being rude, etc... Also, stars can be used for reward. If you catch your kid doing something good, you have real credible value by saying "great job, I'm giving you three stars! I'm so proud of you!"

Please note: This only works if you honor the value of the stars, and if you keep up with it. Don't give them freedoms they haven't earned without stars. Many nights one child who has no stars goes to be an hour earlier than everyone else because they didn't have any due to punishment or lack of work. Be strong, and you will set your kids up for success!

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions.

Mike and Melissa

PWOC Conference in Edelweiss

2011-11-22T05:15:00.000-08:00

Mike and I had a wonderful time this weekend at the PWOC conference in Edelweiss. We were blessed with the opportunity to teach our first parenting/adoption class together and it was fun! We met alot of great women and are eager to answer the questions we received. So look for updates as we get to them one by one.

In the meantime, feel free to write more questions as they come up. We may not have all the answers, but at least we can pray for you or direct you in the right direction.

Thanks also to Paulette and Tanya and their families for watching our kids for us. We got back to several issues that need to be taken care of discipline-wise. Our jobs are never done! Thank God though, because that would mean my kids don't need a mom anymore. So as you walk in frustration about how to handle your kids, know that we are walking right along side you. We constantly pray for the wisdom (and the patience, and the self-control, and the peace, etc.) to train our children in the way they should go.

In Him,

Melissa

Making Plans

2011-10-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes making plans, while in the military, can be overwhelming. And just when I get up the courage to decide on a plan, things change. This is why I prefer for Mike to do all the legwork and I just follow. Yet, I know that is a copout to excuse my fear of stepping out of my comfort zone. I am working on it. Here's my attempt...

Mike was supposed to change jobs come early November. However, due to a paper glitch, the transfer has been postponed a few months. I have been praying that if God took this away or delayed it for some reason, that He has a better plan in store. Since he was supposed to be in a new job, he cleared Christmas leave with his new boss. But now that he is not moving, we are trying to figure out what his squadron will do in regards to his leave request.

While waiting for the job transfer, we decided that the kids and I should finally go back to visit family in the states. Afterall, it has been almost two and a half years. We made the plan to catch a space available flight to the east coast sometime during the last week before school ends for Christmas break. If all went well, Mike would go back home to work a little longer while I visited my mom and step-dad in Atlanta. He will join back up with us a little later. Then the plan also included us buying round trip tickets to Las Vegas for his family reunion. After the reunion, we'd head back to Altanta and catch a hop back over the ocean a few days later. It is a nice plan, right? The kids and I are so excited to go back and see alot of our family. But now with Mike's work issue, I am not sure how this will all turn out.

I share this to ask for prayers! We want to come home for a visit. I want to see our families. I want to eat at delicious restaurants only found in America (Chik-Fil-A!). I want to shop for bargains at the malls. I miss our country! Please pray that Mike's leave would be approved and that we would be able to catch a space available flight to and from Germany in our first few attempts. These would be God things. And I know that He can make it happen.

Thanks for sharing our adventures and praying for us.

In Him,

Melissa

The Beginning of Fall

2011-10-07T01:40:00.000-07:00

It is now the beginning of Fall and not much has changed in the last few weeks. The kids have stayed busy in school, I have stayed busy keeping up with them, and Mike has stayed busy going on tdy's. We have definately found our school routine which keeps me on task when Mike is gone. So there isn't much to report on for this update. We are doing well and praying that Mike's job change at the end of the month goes smooth. I will like his new schedule as he will be home more. In the meantime, if you think to pray for us, we could use wisdom with parenting. We appreciate them! Have a blessed beginning of Fall and month of October!

In Him,

Melissa

September

2011-09-21T02:55:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that we are almost through September and a month of school. Before we know it, Christmas advertisements will be overwhelming us well before Halloween is here. With that, we'll begin the four birthday celebrations in the midst of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's festivities. And that just reminds me that another year is almost over. How did it all happen so fast?

Our September update is a quiet one. The kids have all been enjoying school. All the open houses revealed that our kids had a good start. We reminded them that we (the teachers and I) now know each other and will communicate on a regular basis. So far, it has worked in bringing about good progress reports with only minor redirections. I have been praying that it stays that way as they get more comfortable with their peers.

Mike is enjoying his last bits of flying before he moves to his new staff job. He is supposed to change over at the end of October. However, nothing is ever set in stone with the military. So we plan the best we can knowing that it can be easily changed to something else. His new job should have regular hours and keep him home more. The downside is the possibility of deployment. Though, that possibility is at any job. Needless to say, God has a plan for us either way. I am just thankful to see my husband happy doing what he loves.

You would think with all the kids being in school now that I would have loads of free time. But that is not true. I am staying busy with our daily household tasks of raising a family, helping with Biblestudy, writing a book, writing more songs on the piano, running a new TLA, and trying to enjoy a little free time to myself. My life is not so busy that I go crazy, yet busy enough that I thank God for each blessing/task and pray that it brings Him glory because without Him, none of it would be possible anyway.

I pray that the end of your summer and the beginning of your fall is as blessed as ours.

In Him,

Melissa

New Business Owners

2011-09-09T04:27:00.000-07:00

We did it! We have now opened our downstairs apartment as a TLA. We are praying that God uses our home to make others feel comfortable in their transition to and from Germany. We had a hard time with accomadations when we got here and know how important it is to feel at home while waiting to move into a permanent place. So spread the word for us. And if you want to visit, we have a nice place for our friends and family to stay for free!

www.schrollbachapartment.blogspot.com

In Him,
Melissa

New Adventures for the Pontiff Clan

2011-08-28T23:09:00.000-07:00

The kids' newest adventure has begun. School started today. We geared up for school with the preperation of school supplies and clothes and... school practice. Yes, we had school practice last week. We knew that the kids were out of sorts in regards to their school schedule and would inevitably miss something on their to do list even after reading it out loud. So the first day, we explained that they had to get up at 0800 and go through their list. Each day would be thirty minutes earlier than the day before. If they succeeded, they didn't have to do the rest of the week. They would still have to get up early to acclimate their body to school time, but other than that, they would be off the hook. Only one succeeded the first day. When the list says, "Make your bed" or "Clean your room" or "Get your lunch and backpack" and you read that out loud, most would think that would be a good enough reminder. The other four children read their lists and said it was done and yet had missed these things. How is that possible you say? My thoughts exactly. Hence, more school practice. The next day, only one more succeded. You'd think they would get that I was checking their lists off too and I would know what was not done yet. Still, they decided to try me... and lost. Yeah, more school practice. Day three, the next two finally succeded. And day four, the last one had to try three times to get it right. It all paid off though as today went well for all of them. Only one is now "in trouble" for deception. She chose to put on her makeup rather than clean her room and then tried to pretend that her door was closed "so that the cats wouldn't go in there" when she loves having them in her room. I picked up on that immediately.

I laugh at what they think they are hiding. And I wonder, what does that mean that they think about me? Do they think I just don't know. Then I think, "Wow! That's what I did to my mom too." Well, Mom, I am so sorry I ever did that. You were way smarter than I ever truly gave you credit for. Now as a mom myself, I see your motherly wisdom as something to behold. I always thought you had eyes in the back of your head and now know it was God who had your back and told you everything! There is something about a momma and God on her side. Don't mess with her!

So that was the kids' newest adventure. Now ours, Mike's and mine, is opening our newly vacated apartment as a TLA (temporary living accomadations) for people coming in and out of the Kaiserslautern area. Mike got the idea shortly after we spoke to a rental agency about renting out our apartment again. We decided to use this to make additional income, but to also have the availability to bless people coming and going through the church or our family. This week is getting all the furniture in place before I go out to buy all the curtains and home decorations. So please pray for wisdom for me on how to do that. It's not one of my strengths. I'll post pics soon with a link to our new Schrollbach TLA.

Enjoy the rest of your summer while it lasts!

In Him,

Melissa

End of Summer Update

2011-08-15T09:29:00.001-07:00

Summer is slowly coming to a close with only two weeks of vacation left. We were trying to maximize our travel time, but with all of Mike's tdy's, we ended up just doing short trips. It was to fun, local places that didn't take alot of planning to do. After all our relaxing, the kids are ready to go back to school.

We've managed to get most of thier school supplies. The rest are being sent compliments of Grandma and Grandpa "Where's my hug?". Plus we are getting clothes ready too. My "to do" list now entails cleaning out the old clothes to make room for the new. Each year gets easier as the kids get older and more familiar with our purging system.

As for me, I have delved into a new Biblestudy called Becoming the Woman God Wants Me To Be. It is a 90-day study that encourages us to become more like the Proverbs 31 woman. The author takes a few verses each week and dissects them into applicable and manageable changes that we can make in our lives. I have to admit, I was excited about this at first, but now I am getting out of my comfort zone on some of the homework items and it's making me nervous. This is a spiritual journey though, that is supposed to leave us different than when we started. So I know it is all me and that I need to just get over it and do it. Pray for me!

In addition to all the kids' fun and my new changes, our poor cat, Sumy, had to have emergency surgery last week. Turns out that she bit off something like a cotton ball off of her cat toy and it got lodged in her large intestine. She came home wearing the "cone of shame" because she had a scar several inches long on her newly shaved belly. Our other cat, Rammy, didn't know what to do with her. He stayed on close guard, but if we encouraged him to get closer to her, he'd meow and run off, and then sneak back up to viewing her again. Sumy gets her stitches out in a few days and is already returning back to her old, sweet self. I have a sad-funny to share: she was still wearing her new collar cone one night when she tried to jump up in bed with me and ended up falling off the bed because she couldn't equate for the collar space. I felt so bad for her. Mike picked her up and put her in bed with me where she fell fast asleep with a loud purr.

Mike's update is that he did not get picked up for school opening the door for us to stay in Germany a little longer. We were happy with either outcome. It's just nice to know which one so we can move forward. He'll be taking a new job soon that might open even more years here. We'll see. We love it here! We love our home that God has blessed us with, we love the base, we love our church, we love our friends! Even after two years, I still wake up sometimes and wonder why God has blessed us with this wonderful opportunity because I know that I don't deserve it.

Lastly, I was talking with a few friends from church and they helped me come up with a new idea for parenting questions. Just ask them on the blog! So if you think of anything you want me to answer, leave a post, and I will do my best to answer it in a later one.

Have a blessed last few weeks of summer!

In Him,

Melissa

Thankful for this summer

2011-08-01T04:05:00.000-07:00

The last six weeks feel like they have past by quickly. The kids and I have built our summer routine into one of sleeping in and taking things easy. We do try to stay productive, but we are having fun doing it. We visit the library weekly, try to go swimming, and of course, hang out with friends whenever we can.

Mike got back at the beginning of July. He motivated us to finish our back yard garden patch and wall. It looks great now. However, I think we may have to wait until next year for it to produce anything of substance.

I was also able to finish my sister's birthday blanket. It took four months to make and was worth every minute to make for her. Now that I have completed one for all our family members, I am going to use all the leftover yarn to make a kitty blanket since my cats like to sit on the one I am making. It makes it hard to stitch! Now I'll trick them with one of their own on my lap while doing the real project. After that, I think I will make another one for us. I have to pick out a design though. I want to make something new.

Another update was finding out that we are staying in Germany for another year. Mike was not picked up for school. But it was a win-win situation for us. School or another year in Europe? After these last few weeks of life with our Lifegroup (Couple's Biblestudy), I am thankful that I get another year to spend with these precious families that I have grown to love. And we always love an excuse to get together and party. So a few days ago we celebrated with one family as the husband came back from a six month deployment. Here is a picture of some of us ladies celebrating their family reunion.

I am very blessed to have my children home from school, my husband home from TDY, and friends that are like family when you are away from home. God is good!

In Him,

Melissa

Woohoo! School's Out!

2011-06-24T04:50:00.000-07:00

School is out and summer has begun. I have thoroughly enjoyed this last week with the kids being home. I feel like I have been enjoying a seven day weekend. The kids and I have started establishing a weekly summer plan that includes going to the library for books once a week, getting movies twice a week, and going to the pool. We are just taking it easy until Mike gets back and our travels begin. He gets home in one week if all goes according to plan.

I have to admit, I was nervous about how the kids and I would do without Mike for a month. We miss him ALOT. Yet we have handled things well without him here. I must say it is a God thing because I hear horror stories about things that happen when the man of the house leaves. We have been blessed to have everything under control, even the kids's behavior. I was especially worried about that considering what happened around spring break when Mike was on a different TDY.

We still haven't heard anything about the military's plan for us this summer - do we leave or stay. We'll post something about it as soon as we hear.

In Him,

Melissa

Summer's almost here

2011-06-10T01:42:00.000-07:00

Summer break is almost here. The kids are busy finishing all the last school projects, tests, and homework assignments to get their final grades. And I am getting ready to say goodbye to my quiet house during the day. Though I must say, I am looking forward to the kids being home. It will be nice to sleep in (compared to school mornings) and go to bed later now that the sun is not setting until about 10 PM. We can have sleepovers during the week, have friends watch movies with us in the evening, and hang out until the sun goes down. Ahhh! The joys of summer!

Mike should be back from training in about three weeks and then we will begin our summer trips. Two summers ago we moved here and dealt with moving into a new house and settling into the area. Last year, I stayed busy with homeschooling our oldest to make sure she was ready for 7th grade (it paid off!). This summer will be so different. I look forward to what God will bring.

We'll keep you updated.

In Him,

Melissa

An Update and New Polish Pottery

2011-05-30T00:39:00.000-07:00

Well, an update on the kids brings good news that they are slowing coming around. They still need redirection, but what kid doesn't? School is coming to an end with only 13 school days left. With today being a holiday (thank you to the many soldiers who have fought for our freedom!), we went to a church picnic last night and stayed out late enjoying the sunlight. I am so ready to have that permanently. And I think the kids are too.

Today also brought the beginning of Mike's tdy to Little Rock AFB as he attends training for a month. I am confident that God will take care of us. Yet, I also admit to anxiousness with his absence. I already miss him and he's only been gone a few hours. We'll get our routine established quickly and that will help. There is still no word on whether we will move this summer. But keep posted. We'll write an update as soon as find out something.

In preparation for Mike's tdy, I got to plan a last minute girls' getaway to Poland to buy some of thier famous pottery. When we lived in England, back in 2001, I remember seeing it and not thinkinig too highly of it. However, it grew on me and I fell in love with all the unique designs and the mixing and matching of various patterns. So my friend, Pam,and I drove the seven hours to Boleslawiec on a whirlwind shopping spree filling her car with loads of the beautiful dishes. To make the trip even better, we stayed at a quaint little Bed and Breakfast called the Blue Beetroot. It had the best food, some great tasting fruit-flavored beer (raspberry and apple), and allowed us to indulge in eating desserts while getting pedicures. I was astonished at how little we spent in comparison to the royal treatment we recieved. I'll post pics of some of the things I got. It makes me wonder what kind of dishware we'll eat with in Heaven. Fine china, Polish pottery as unique as each individual, paper plates, or will we even eat in Heaven? I hope we do! If you ever come to our house for dinner, you'll get to enjoy using our new dishes. I didn't want to store it in a cabinet for occasional use. I wanted our family to enjoy God's new provisions for us - every day. Everything is a gift from Him, even dishes!

In Him,

Melissa

It's beyond me...

2011-05-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

I must admit that some of the kids are doing better. So I thank God for that. Now I must share our latest update so you can have a good laugh and if anything, pray for me.

Our oldest still continues to amaze me. Her discipline consists of talks and redirections more than anything else. Sometimes I can see that she is agitated for being corrected, yet she controls her frustration and is back to normal in no time. She is also becoming more considerate and thoughtful beyond her years. For example, I asked her one day to switch my laundry (which contained my sheets) from the washer to the dryer after she had pulled her clothes out while I went to a meeting. In addition to babysitting her younger siblings, I asked if she could pull my laundry out of the dryer when they were done and bring them up to my room. I came home and she had put away my towels and made my bed! I was blown away by her thoughtfulness to do that.

Now our second eldest, the one who was bucking the school's authority, is doing amazing at school. Occasionally, she'll have a note saying she needed a little more redirection than normal, but those are so much better than before. The part we are working on now is her social skills away from school and accepting her sister's authority while being babysat. We went over to a friend's house where the boys (the oldest is five) are allowed to play soccer in their room. However, our eleven, almost twelve, year old daughter decided she could play too and kicked the ball so hard it broke a light fixture in the room. Why I have to explain to her the difference between a five year old playing soccer in the house is different from an almost twelve year old is beyond me. For nights that require babysitting, she now has to go to her room for the evening becuase she is undermining her older sister's authority. She asked if two friends from down the street could come over to play knowing it was against the rules to have friends over while her Dad and I are gone. When our oldest told her no, she threw a fit! We told her she has to earn the freedom to come out of her room while we are gone. The blessing is that now she is making a few bad choices that are big rather than alot of bad choices. We are getting somewhere with her.

Our middle child is doing well in school now too. And for the most part is doing well at home too. Her thing is that every now and then, she'll make a bad, spur-of-the-moment decision that has a heavy consequence - like sending a kid to the ER for putting paper in his ear. Well, her thing this last few weeks is that she went over to a friend's house and decided to climb his shed over the fence onto the hood of their nice car! The mom saw it and very kindly came over to tell me what she just did. Why our daughter thinks it's ok do this is beyond me. She knows that is unacceptable behavior at home. I just thanked God that she didn't do any damage to their car and that the neighbors are nice and still like us (I think!).

Our fourth child is doing much better at school too. This is a nice break from all the messages I was recieving a few weeks before. His problem is that same as the other two. He is doing better, but occassionally makes a bad choice that makes you say, "What in the world were you thinking?" Which I know is a stupid question to ask a child because the automatic response that comes back at you is, "I don't know." He undermined his sister's authority one day by telling our youngest that she was wrong and he didn't have to lister to her. He got the same punishment as our second eldest - off to his room while I am gone. They have plenty of things to occupy thier time in there. The kicker story, though, is that our neighbors (the same ones with the car that our daugheter climbed) told us that one morning the mom and son were gone when our child went over to see if their son could play. He found the door open, but instead of knocking, he proceeded to walk right in and starting yelling their son's name over and over not knowing that the dad was still trying to sleep. Again, why our son thinks it's ok to do that is beyond me. He knows better.

And lastly, our youngest, is still having some major battles between good and bad. He gets better for a little while then slips into a series of bad choices that make me ask again, "What were you thinking?" to him all the while knowing the automatic response before I can stop myself. So here goes his story... I have now recieved seven phone calls from the school in seven weeks. The first two and the second two were in the last post in regards to my second and fourth children. The last three phone calls have been about this one. For the most part, his behavior at school has improved alot this year. It's his impulsivity that gets him in trouble. The first phone call came, without his knowing, about him stealing a teacher appreciation gift that another child left on his teacher's desk. He told her he found it, and she politely told him thank you and to please put it back. Well, he decided to eat the treat. When he got home, I asked how he did for the day. He pulled out his folder and showed me a green smiley face which took me by surprise. When I looked closely, he had erased (very well) the big X that crossed it out and the note that went with it. Stealing and deception... not a good combo. He lost snacks for a week and had to buy her a whole box of the treats with his allowance to pay her back. Two days after that, we got another phone call that he "found" his friend's toy and put it in his pocket. He had to give it back. But then when he came home, we heard from our other children that he gave a toy away to our neighbor. That means he stole twice? We got the toy back, wrote a note asking how he got that one too. Turns out that the child gave that one to him since he tried to steal the other toy. My goodness! It's hard to get it all straightened out. The third phone call came because he hurt another child while playing outside. All I can think of is, "Where the heck did he learn to act like this?" And the story continues... Then we found out that he stole, sometime ago, AWANA dollars. AWANAs is our Sunday afternoon Bible club where they earn money for coming to club and saying scriptures. Then they can spend the money at the store to earn really nice things. I had to confiscate all of his money because I had no idea what he truly earned versus what he stole. He watched all the kids buy things this last Sunday. I felt bad for him because I wanted to him to reap the benefits of his hard work in memorizing all those verses. Though I wish those verses would peirce beyond his head into his heart. It's frustrating watching your babies make mistakes and then reap the consequences for their actions. I want to protect them from it sometimes, yet I know it will only make it worse in the longrun. It's beyond me where he feels the freedom to act on those impulses.

So again, we are doing better, but still have a ways to go. I am learning so much through my kids about how God sees us. His love never decreases with our bad choices. Yes, we sometimes have to face the consequences of our actions, but God loves us through it instead of shielding us from it. He disciplines us because He loves us. And so I must discipline my kids because I love them. He never said it would be easy because there is a war going on for thier hearts. I must continue to perservere with love and patience, just like my Father.

Thanks for taking interest in, reading about, and praying for our family!

In Him,

Melissa

Living a Bill Cosby Episode

2011-04-30T00:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like the last month of my life has been a Bill Cosby episode. He had five kids, we have five kids. They made some stupid choices, ours are doing the same. The only thing that brings me sanity through some of the discipline is to laugh about it, when the kids aren't looking, of course. Let's just say, I am building up my ammunition of blackmail on my children for when they get older. And all I will say when they cry, "MOM! Don't tell that story!" is "Well, you did it. If you didn't want me to tell it, then you shouldn't have done it."

So here goes the last month -

A couple of weeks ago, my 11 year old (almost 12 year old) decided to start bucking the school's authority. She didn't believe them when they asked her to stop talking so much, stop distracting her peers, and not chew gum in school. We warned her that we may pull her out of school if her behavior is impeding other's learning. Her way to solve this? Get worse. She got two detentions for chewing gum, hid a satin pajama top in her backpack and changed at school, then got a teacher conference with five teachers and the counselor in less than two weeks. At home, she kept undermining her older sister's authority and proceeded to climb a windowsill in her little brother's room while three boys turned his dresser into a stairstep to get to the top of a wardrobe. Things are not going well for her.

On to the next child, my 8 year old is doing better, but still has some new things that we crossed in the same time frame as the one above. She chose not to do her homeowork one night and ended up losing TV priveleges for the rest of the week, then used her TVless time to undermine her oldest sister's authority (same situation as the 11 year old) as well as watch her youngest brother and two other boys climb a wardrobe. She didn't think she needed to say anything. She has been doing well at school. However, last week we got a note from the teacher saying that another parent complained about our daughter. She used a pencil to put paper into the child's ear which consquently led to him going to the ER to get it removed. I can say now that one of my children has put another in the ER.

The next one is 7 years old. We thought our sweet little boy was doing great in school because his previous sememster brought raving reviews from his teacher. Well, I was wrong. (I remind you, this is the same time span as the previous two stories.) He brought home his 3rd report card where his teacher stated that he was very difficult this past nine weeks. He was passively aggressive with his teachers, moved alot, and kept distracting his peers. Wow! How did I not know? So, I asked to teacher to contact me daily through a behavior log or email to let me know when I needed to intervene. We got a phone call from the vice principal that he made a mess with water in the bathroom so bad that the janitor had to come clean it up. Then a few days ago, I got another call that he tried to forge my signature on a bad behavior note from Monday. At home, I started seeing the passive aggressiveness too. I told him to do something, and he looked straight at me and said, "I don't want to!" Excuse me?!?! He was also party to the wardrobe climbing in his room.

Then my littlest one is the 6 year old. He is a boy. And I know that boys will be boys. They just need to be redirected alot. But here goes his story too (same time frame also). He started behaving well at school. His bad days are much less frequent, praise God! However, at home he started making some poor choices. He decided to steal gum from our local store and when he was caught with it several days later, he told us he found it on the bus. We didn't realize until two days later that it was a whole pack from the store, not a few peices found on the ground. He gave it to his brother (the story above - so just add this account to his too!). Then they "hid" the other peices they chewed along with all the wrappers. We smelled it on our seven year old's breath right before prayer time. They confessed to the six year old finding it on the bus and sharing it. We thought that was all. They were disciplined and put to bed. The next day came and all was good until bedtime again. We went to say nighttime prayers and our seven year old came downstairs with gum breath AGAIN! Only this time it was a different flavor. We questioned him and found out the six year old stole a 15-pack of gum for his oldest sister and gave it some of it to him... to hide. We found some stashed on both of their bookshelves, underneath one of their pillows, in between the footboard and the covers, chewed gum in between playing cards, stuck to items in their room... It was disgusting. While searching for the last few unnaccounted peices, I found a few more miscellaneous items. Our six year old hid our laundry clorox bleach pens in the pocket of his blanket. While seaching his bookshelf, we found one of his older sister's nice peice of jewely. And the straw that broke the camels back... we found my husband's dress watch that he stole from our dresser. Once we found the last item, we stripped his room of everything, but the mattress and a blanket. We explained that everything he had was given to him as a gift and that he needed to earn them back by not stealing. Upon removing his furniture, we found more gum stuck to the walls, one stuck to the top of his wardrobe and lots of wrappers. Let's just say, he has a very easy time cleaning his room right now.

My oldest daughter has sat back with a look of surprise as each of her younger siblings beats their head against the wall of Biblical values. She has amazed me in her maturity to not join in, but also help when she can. I thank God for at least one sane child at this time.

I also forgot to mention, that my husband has been tdy for alot of this! I can't wait for him to get back.

In closing, I want to preface that I LOVE my kids and I know that they are a huge blessing from the LORD. There are days, maybe even weeks, where they drive me crazy and I think I can't keep up with them. But I know God made them who they are and I have been praying that He will give me wisdom to redirect them in a way that breaks their will, but not their spirit. So, if you ever feel this way, you are not alone. Now I am praying that whatever possessed my children overnight to leave. I want their sweet little personalities back.

I pray that this story has made you laugh as well as let you know we are a real family, with real love, real trials, and a real God who makes all things work together for His good.

In Him,

Melissa

Spring Break - Our First Cruise

2011-04-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

We had the privelege to experience our first cruise this spring break. And it was so much fun! We started off by leaving for our twelve hour drive to Barcelona, Spain at 9 pm and putting the kids to bed in the van. They did a great job getting some sleep. We were able to drive for five hours before our first potty break and then another five before our second potty break and breakfast. We got to Spain early enough to do a little sight seeing, but then made our way to the ship.

We were able to see Casablanca, Agidir, the Canary Islands, Madiera, and Malaga while on our nine day cruise. A part of me felt guilty for spending money to take our family on the cruise. However, during one of my quiet times on the ship, I felt like God was saying to me, "Let me bless you! Let me show you my creation that I made for you. I gave you the finances to be able to see this. Don't ruin this moment by worrying about the cost." Boy, was I humbled by that thought - God wants to bless me and show me His creation. Once I settled that thought, I thoroughly enjoyed the breaktaking sights and seeing other cultures.

Besides all the sightseeing, the cruiselines had so many fun activities to choose from. I took line dancing lessons. Mike and I learned how to salsa dance. Bryan and I were able to participate in a family game. The kids LOVED the kids' place. We enjoyed the fantanstic shows that they had onboard every night. Mike and I participated in a game of family fued (and lost). Stasia had the freedom to hang out with the teen group and enjoy a 1 am curfew. The kids enjoyed the family scavenger hunt. Then all the food!!! There is so much more we could add to the list.

I have changed my mind about cruises. They are fantastic. We didn't have to worry about where to eat and sleep which is two of our biggest hassles as a large traveling family. I can't wait to go on our next one... though it will be a few years. : ) We still need to recoup from this one.

Thanks, God! Your creation still amazes me.

In Him,

Melissa

Happy birthday to me... from the LORD

2011-03-25T01:56:00.001-07:00

So today is my and my twin sister's 35th birthday. My husband, so politely, reminded me that I am halfway to 40. His 35th birthday is a few months behind mine, hence the taunting. I believe that in all his joking, he was saying that he loves being married to an older (and wiser) woman. I am looking at the situation as my glass is half full!

In waking up today, I wanted to tell the LORD "THANK YOU" for all the wonderful blessings I have received from Him all these years. So many times I get down in the dumps thinking of my trials. And yet, I want to turn them into thank yous. So, Mike's work takes him away sometimes for weeks at a time - thank you, LORD, that my husband has a job, loves it, it provides us with experiences we could never afford (living in foreign countries for years at a time), and gives us financial security. My kids are constantly in need of discipline - thank you, LORD, for the blessing of being a parent to five beautiful children who needed a mother and father to take care of them, they are one of the biggest joys in my life. My home is in a constant state of repair (it seems) - thank you, LORD, for a our house that is more than big enough to accomadate a family of seven, is used to host Biblestudies, and have friends over for parties, holidays, and dinners. The list could go on and on.

Though a lot of women dread their annual reminder that they are growing older, I look forward to it. I am excited to see how each birthday marks a tremendous growth pattern in my dependence on the LORD. I falter and fail at times and sometimes cannot see past my selfishness and stubborness. Yet, He is always there to pick me up and guide me to the next blessing in my life though I do not deserve it. This year, I celebrate being 35 as a wife and mother, living in Germany with a wonderful church family and military friends who support and love me every day. Happy birthday to me... from the LORD.

In Him,

Melissa

Happy Anniversary... from afar

2011-03-21T02:15:00.001-07:00

Mike and I have been blessed to celebrate our 12th anniversary... apart. He was TDY in Souda Bay, Crete helping with the refugee evacuations from Libya. I was humbled by his attempt to help me catch a space available flight for one night to see him. He got all the military stuff taken care and then told me the "surprise". Thankfully, a friend volunteered to stay the night with the kids so I could go. The evening before, I got a call that the flight was cancelled. I was crushed! But I also thought, "If God allowed the fight to cancel, then there must be a better plan." The morning I was supposed to leave, Mike called to check in with me. He was sad that I couldn't go either. Then a few hours later, he told me they got the call to come home immediately - all of them! My plan would have seen me passing my husband in the air. I am thankful for God's bigger plan and that he brought my hubby home safely.

So Mike is now home. Yeah! And hopefully, he'll be able to stay home for my birthday in a couple of days.

Another parenting tip:

So here is another quick parenting tip we started using a couple of months ago - Stair Practice.

The thought behind it is that if you have enough energy to whine (that's why we started using it), be mean, argue, use rude manners, etc. then you have enough energy to do laps on the stairs. With whining, we asked our son to do laps on the stairs until he could do one whole lap without whining. This lasted a little while, but once he figured out how much work it is to whine, he has started doing it much less. We give a certain amount of laps for arguing, rudeness, and any other thing that deems appropriate of laps on the stairs. Being slow means they get more. And getting more means they might miss out on something fun like snack or tv. Give it a try! And then let me know what happens.

New Email Address

2011-03-11T04:26:00.000-08:00

Mike's tdy has brought to life that we have some issues with our email provider. I was trying to check my emails, but was getting sent into a pattern that avoided my inbox. Then when I could access my email, it would take what seemed like forever to open a document. Then ultimately, it would freeze up our internet like it couldn't keep up with our email provider's advertisements. This is very frustrating when you are anticipating a love letter or even a call through skype.

Needless to say, I got a new email address. It has been a headache trying to establish our new account, but I already love the ease and flexibility of using it. My favorite thing so far is that I can now check email from my iTouch. I haven't been able to do that before because our old internet provider wanted me to pay for a Pop3 account. It is also much quicker to check. I am still trying to figure out little tricks, like adding new contacts, but I am getting there. I have to retrain myself to a new and much better format.

So if you need to get a hold of us, send me a message through the blog and I can email you our address. In the meantime, facebook always does the trick too.

I pray you are having a blessed day!

In Him,

Melissa

Februrary and early March update

2011-03-07T02:27:00.001-08:00

Time flies so quickly these days. I think we tend to have a light schedule compared to most families theses days. And yet, I still feel like we are so busy with things that weeks pass into one another without notice. Whew!

Mid-February gave us the opportunity to visit an old neighbor of mine. It's been fifteen years since he lived next to my parents and now he and his wife are stationed here in Germany. We visited them in their beautiful town of Esslingen where they had a house warming party. We also spent most of Sunday with them taking a walk and watching our first Fashching parade (it's like a Mardi Gras parade). The kids had a lot of fun seeing all the different, elaborate costumes, and catching the candy being thrown out. Plus, they liked seeing the pranks being played on some of the crowd members. I was fortunate enough to get squirted in the face by a mask with a fish on the nose. Dasha was on the recieving end of a confetti fight. She enjoyed it though. We all had a great time there and hope to make it back again before we move.

February 25th, we celebrated Adoption Day #1. It's humbling to see how six years ago God answered mine and Mike's prayers to be parents. Dasha and Stasia are such beautiful young women now! We celebrated by going to Baskin Robbins again. The kids were so excited to pick out their own sundae to have all to themselves. I stuck with my favorite - peanut butter chocolate. Yummy!

We are now in early March with the Springtime upon us. The days are getting longer. We are anticipating the time change. The kids are pushing for Spring Break come April. I enjoy this time of the year where the sun starts to shine a little more and the flowers begin to bloom with the temperature's slow rise.

We are still not sure what the summer holds for us, but we'll definately spill the news if/when it comes.

In the meantime, I ask for your prayers for Mike. He got a call Thursday night and left the next morning on an indefinate TDY. He is with several crews in Souda Bay helping the Egyptians that are fleeing Libya into Tunisia. We are not sure how long he and the others will be gone. But please pray for Libya and everything else that is affected by what this country is going through.

Thanks for being a part of our lives!

In Him,

Melissa

Another Parenting Book...

2011-02-04T00:03:00.000-08:00

A couple of months ago, I went to a women's retreat where the speakers challenged us to step out in faith, with boldness, to follow through with things we felt God had put on our hearts but we were too afraid to do. I came home and shared what I had learned with Mike asking him what he thought. We came to one conclusion... to start writing a parenting book. You may be thinking, "Another parenting book?!? There are already so many out there to choose from." Let me explain why we want to start one.

The foster care system does not allow physical discipline to be used with thier children. Due to each child's unique background and the possible abuse that they may have faced, other forms of discipline are required. Through training classes and reading books, we developed our own little system that is based off of privileges. The privilege is the reward while not earning the privilege is the discipline. It is about earning the freedom to have certain responsibilities which carries certain privileges. But with inappropriate behavior, the responsibility is lost along with the privileges it carries. For example, our kids who work hard cleaning up the kitchen after dinner earn the privelege to stay up. If a lazy job is done, we deduce that they are tired and need to go to bed on time.

The ultimate goal is to raise our children to bring glory to God by being Christ-like role models and citizens who help contribute to our nation. That being said, we are raising them to act in accordance with Biblical ideals.

So in future blogs, I might post a quick idea that works with our kids. Here's the first one and it is on respecting each other:

If one child hurts another whether it is through physical harm (hitting, kicking, etc.) or personal harm (stealing, breaking, etc.), have the offender pay restitution with their food or dessert. Our youngest son kept stealing from other the other kids in our home while they were at school. After many trials of trying to get him to stop, we finally found something that made him feel it was not worth it to steal. He stole his sister's eye shadow and gouged out the powder making it useless. We decided he would then pay with his yummy food. We got delicious sandwich kebaps from a local German restaurant, brought them home, and dished them out. After prayer, we let everyone else begin to eat, except him. We explained that he needed to pay his sister back for the eye shadow he ruined and that since he didn't have enough money, he could pay with his lunch. She was saitisfied with the "repayment". We then made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat while we enjoyed lunch-to-go. Stealing has dropped dramatically in our home after that.

If you have any questions on how to deal with certain behaviors, email me. I love trying to help find creative ways to guide our children into making wise choices.

In Him,

Melissa

Upcoming Travels

2011-01-31T07:47:00.000-08:00

One of the things that I love so much about living here in Germany is all the traveling we can do. We have been able to take some amazing trips so far - France, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Greece, and lots of weekend trips to other places in Germany. You could add even more if you counted Mike's TDYs. Since we are unsure what this summer holds for us - whether we will move back if Mike gets accepted to school or stay here another year - we are planning as much as we can.

That being said, here are some of our plans:

A spring break trip to the Canary Islands via a nine day cruise leaving from Barcelona. We have never been on a cruise before and are so excited to try this type of travel.

Another trip to Italy this summer, though this time to Rome, Naples, Pompeii and other parts that we didn't visit last time.

A weekend trip to Berlin. I have wanted to see The Wall. My family was stationed here in Germany when I was 12 and my parents got to see Berlin before the wall fell down.

Another weekend trip to the Black Forest.

Instead of buying nice cars or having designer things, we are investing in memories with our kids. Both Mike and I love the memories we have of traveling with our own families when we were young. Plus, I love seeing the uniqueness that God has given each area. He is so creative!

I'll say it again too, "If anyone wants to visit us while we are here, our home is open!" Come enjoy Europe while you have a free place to stay.

In Him,

Melissa

A New Year... A Fresh Start

2011-01-20T01:13:00.000-08:00

January brings all the promises of a new start, a change, something different than before. Usually they come in the form of resolutions or goals. It's already the middle of January and I am still struggling what to make for my resolutions. I have already been praying that God would continue to help me with staying physically healthy. But that's not a new thing. I have already been praying that God would help me raise our five beautiful children in a way that would bring Him glory. But again, that's not a new thing. I've been praying that God would continue to strengthen our marriage, which He does everyday. But that's not a new thing.

So I ask myself, what then can I make a resolution about? I think it is to see each day as a gift from God. Each day is a fresh start, not just the beginning of the year. We have had a couple of friends die this year. Their death has helped me refocus on the fact that God can call us home at anytime. Am I ready for that? Each day I want to live a life with no regrets. To love my husband with no regrets. To love my children and family with no regrets. I am sure that each friend that died this year would have had a different perspective on life if they had known what the future held for them. I challenge you to do the same... live each day as a gift from God. Don't take a single one for granted. Despite the trials we may face, walking with Him daily brings indescribable peace and joy in all circumstances. Enjoy your fresh start... today.

In Him,

Melissa

Officially Parents of a Teenager

2011-01-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

The holidays come and go so quickly with three birthdays to celebrate in the mix. Then the holidays close out with a fourth birthday, on January 8th, bringing the end of all the present giving and cakes/desserts that one could possibly eat in six weeks.

This last birthday marked a special day for Mike and I as parents. We are now officially parents of a teenager! I know that this may not seem like a big deal to most parents. Each child will eventually hit this milestone. However, Mike and I got here seven years too early. Our daughter is growing up so fast. And yet, we've only had her for six years. When we adopted her from Ukraine back in 2005 as a seven year old, I could have never imagined all that God would have in store for us as her parents. We have been so blessed by having the privilege to be her mom and dad. She has grown up to be a beautiful child, I mean teenager, of God both inside and out. I pray that God will continue to keep her under His protection as He uses her for His glory as she shares her testimony. I am so proud to be her mom! Happy Birthday Stasia!

In Him,

Melissa

2010 Year End In Review (part 2)

2011-01-06T23:49:00.000-08:00

As with the first part, I think the best way to share what we've done this year is through pictures. They say so much more than I ever could with words. Overall, you can see that we are definately enjoying our tour over here in Germany, we are loving life, the kids are growing up so fast, and Mike and I are still enamored by each other. : ) God is so good!

I'll start with some of my favorite family pictures that we had taken this summer at a nearby castle. We decided to do this rather than purchase school photos. At least I know that their hair looks good, their clothes look nice, we can take as many shots as we want, and we even get family shots as well as funny ones. It's a much better package deal to have professional family photos, especially when done by a talented friend.

August was filled with a personal day trip for me to visit the Dachau Concentration Camp. I was glad I finally got to go, yet I just felt this weight of oppression as I walked through the gates. It was overwhelming to think of what went on just inside the perimeter not so long ago.

We also got a surprise visit from Mike's brother, Sarge. He was passing through Ramstein at the end of a deployment when his flight was delayed for two days. Mike was able to talk to Sarge's leaders to let him come home with us rather than stay at a hotel. The kids loved spending time with "Uncle Sos!"

In late August, our tenant downstairs informed us that there were water spots on her living room wall. Unbeknownst to us, there was a leak under our shower . After ripping up our shower, the plumbers were able to fix the problem. However, we had to deal with rationed hot water hours until they could isolate the problem area and fix it. And in the meantime, we had exposed cinder blocks and piping in the bathroom where our shower was supposed to be. Once the dehumidifiers sucked up all the moisture in the walls, we were able to reinstall the shower and get our bathroom back to normal. I was reminded how blessed we are to have a home with several bathrooms, to have constant hot water, to have a home that can be fixed, and to have insurance and finances to cover the repairs.

At the end of August, all five kids started public school. Stasia finished her homeschooling curriculum as started 7th grade at the middle school. Dasha joined her at the middle school for 6th grade. Alaizha began 2nd grade at the elementary school. Eli started his second year of German immersion in 1st grade. And Bryan finally started kindergarten. It has been an adjustment to have an empty house during the day.

Mike's Mom, Mary, joined us for 6 weeks in September and October. It was such a blessing to have her around. She stayed busy with a few weekend trips by herself and a few weekend and day trips with us.

Mary also blessed Mike and I by watching the kids for four days so we could visit Athens, a long time dream destination of mine. We loved having our little getaway in such a historic city. The sites were amazing. It was neat to walk where some of the apostles walked in the book of Acts, to see where they were probably preaching and teaching. It was a beautiful city!

The day after we got back from Athens, Mike and I attended the Annual Air Force Ball with some friends of ours. Carla and Pam are in a Biblestudy with me and my Mike works with Elisha's Mike at the base. Also note my Mike's shirt. He's on fire! He got it custom made while he was in Turkey.

November began with me being able to go to a women's conference to see a longtime mentor and friend, Bea, who was one of the guest speakers. My friend from our Lifegroup, Misty, was my roommate for the conference and drove with me. It was a great weekend to see God grow both of us.

Mike finally finished his job with the Wing by helping them get an "Excellent" on their inspection that takes place every five years. He went back to the squadron to become one of the ADOs. He loves it because he gets to fly a lot more and go on lots of small TDYs. I really appreciated these small trips because Mike was able to get lots of unique Christmas presents for the kids while getting back his passion for work. Not that he didn't love his work before! He is just thankful to be back to flying on a more regular basis.

November ended with two birthdays and Thanksgiving at our house. Some friends from church came over to celebrate with us. Thanksgiving also brought us our first snowfall. It was beautiful to see a white blanket covering everything.

Knowing we had a third birthday just around the corner, we decided to celebrate all three younger kids' birthdays with one big party at a big kids' play place. They had so much fun playing with their friends.

Mike was on the ball this year with our Christmas to do list. We got the tree up early. He started buying presents that needed to be shipped in November. He had me organize the gifts to ensure equality. We even wrapped them a few weeks in advance. Since we were so on the ball with getting and wrapping gifts this year, we didn't want the kids to compare gifts and boast over who had the most or biggest. So we coded them! The morning after we first placed gifts under the tree, you could hear their confusion and excitement all at the same time. Then they decided to do the same thing with the gifts they were giving away. Too precious!

Christmas Day was a fun celebration as we remembered Christ's birth and gave each other gifts. We invited several families over and a couple of friends who are deployed here to eat lunch/dinner with us. It was a full house filled with the sounds of talking, laughter, and the occasional kids' wail from a fight or a fall. We fell into bed that night realizing how much God has blessed us through the gift of His Son - our salvation, our hope, our faith, our family, our church, our friends, our home, everything!

May 2011 be even more filled with God's glory in our family!

In Him,

Melissa

2010 Year End In Review (part 1)

2010-12-31T02:05:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year's (Eve)

Wow! It is almost 2011. It's hard to believe we are now down to the last day of the year. So much has happened and so little blogged about it. Sorry! Here is a recap, to the best of my memory.

January brought Mike and I a newfound freedom when our oldest daughter, Stasia, turned twelve and was officially allowed to babysit. She has

been a tremendous blessing in accepting her role as the oldest child in the family as she carried out new responsibilities while enjoying new found freedoms (like wearing makeup and sitting in the front seat).

March brought about my birthday where I celebrated another 30th. : ) I still cover my grays, so I can get away with it. Because Mike forgot to make a cake, we celebrated by going to an Italian Ice Cream place where I got my favorite German ice cream dessert, Spaghettieis. Ummmm! It is ice cream that really looks like spaghetti.

April rolled around with a Spring Break trip to Paris. We toured the city the first day and went to EuroDisney the next day. The kids did a great job with all the walking and sightseeing. It reminded me of my childhood when we travelled Europe during my Dad's assignment to Germany. I hope our kids have just as fond memories as I do of visiting other countries.

In July, we went to visit a college friend in Ravensburg. We visited Lake Constance which is bordered by Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. It was cold enough, even in July, for me to wear a wetsuit in the water. I know, I am a chicken when it comes to cold water. The lake and surrounding area were beautiful. We also visited Neuschwanstein Castle (Cinderella's Castle is modeled after it) where not one, but two children threw up in the car due to all the winding roads. Overall, it was a great trip.

At the end of July, we went to Italy for a week. We drove to Camp Darby which is a military base on the coast near Pisa. We did day trips from there. We, of course, visited Pisa and took the famous picture of trying to hold up the Leaning Tower. We also visited Cinque Terre (the five cities built on the cliffs) and managed to go swimming in one of the little alcoves. We took a ferry to the island of Elba and again managed to go swimming in one of the little alcoves. We visited a marble quarry. We also found and American beach, rented a boogie board, and some chairs, and relaxed for a day. It was an awesome trip.

This update covers us through the end of July. There is too much to write in one post! So I'll update the rest of our year in the next one. Needless to say, we have been abundantly blessed to have this opportunity to live overseas. Theses trips would not be financially affordable for our large family if we were to do this from the States. We are very grateful to God for the opportunity to be here in a country that is so good to us. We love it here!

In Him,

Melissa

Christmas Card Letter

2010-12-24T01:19:00.000-08:00

Instead of sending out Christmas letters this year, we sent out postcards with our blog address. So if you are here because of the postcard, "WELCOME to our family blog!"

I first want to say that we are eternally grateful to Christ, who came to earth as a baby, to save us from our sins. Without Him, I would be nothing! He is the reason for the celebration in our home. With that, I also acknowledge that everything I have, especially my husband and my five beautiful children, are gifts from Him.

I love this time of year for a few reasons. One is the cooler weather than what I am used to coming from Texas. It is snowing again which will more than likely leave us with a true White Christmas. I honestly cannot remember the last time I have see that. The kids are enjoying all the snow by making snow men, igloos, and piles of snow to jump on.

I also love this time of year because of all the updates we get from our friends. I love hearing how everyone is doing, the new additions that have been added to your families, how big all the kids are getting, all the places you have travelled, what's in store for the next year... Please keep them coming. A little tradition that Mike and I do every year is add all the friends and family pictures from the year at the end of our annual scrapbook. Some of you have made it into several albums!

Another reason I love this time of year is the focus on spending time with family and friends. It's about sharing God's love with each other through relationships, not gifts. Even those occasional email updates, facebook status's, or the short visit mean the world to us in comparison to our things that we could ever possess.

All in all, I am trying to say "THANK YOU!" for being a part of our extended family, for loving us, and blessing us more than words can say. May God's gift of His Son be a reminder of what is truly important all year long.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Melissa

The beginning of Christmas break

2010-12-18T02:13:00.000-08:00

The beginning of Christmas break started with school being cancelled for Friday because we got over four inches of snow. That is evidently a lot for our area. We got another two inches last night. And now big piles of snow have been built in our yard by the kids. They are spending hours outside. I love it!

We also got our Christmas cards mailed and are just awaiting a few more addresses. It's a big thing accomplished on our "to do" list. Since it has been two years since we've sent out updates, I desperately needed to get that done.

Thanks to Mike and his early shopping bug, we actually finished getting all our Christmas presents. With the exception of two gifts that will be wrapped the night before Christmas, all of them are under the tree. We added a little twist to keep the fun of guessing what's inside the package... the gift tags are coded. Now they have no idea which gifts are for them specifically. I even put some of the girls gifts in boy themed bags and vice versa. Some of the bags are birthday themes. This throws them off because Eli's birthday is on the 26th and so they think those are definately his. So much fun! You should hear their conversations.

And lastly, we are trying to start our scrapbook with the intent to finish it before Mike leaves for his deployment which is scheduled for early January. It seems to grow bigger each year. But we love to keep track of where we've been and how much the kids have grown over the year. Plus, the kids love to sit in the living room and look through them like story books. It makes it worth all the work to put them together.

I am thankful to God for so many things right now... my Savior, my husband, my kids, my friends, my church. Even though our culture has turned this season into gift getting and receiving, I am mostly in awe of the relationships I am privileged to be part of. Thank you for being part of that blessing!

In Him,

Melissa

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2010-12-10T04:02:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks have been action packed with two birthdays, Thanksgiving, a big birthday party at a kids' play place for our youngest three, putting up our Christmas tree, and now finalizing addresses to send out our family Christmas cards.

However, in the midst of a busy schedule, we have also been blessed with a lot of snow causing delayed and canceled school days. The kids are loving it. We hear many people complaining about the weather, but we love it. We came from Texas. This is a joy for us! So as we head into the bustle of the season, I am reminded to stop and enjoy the little moments that God is creating for all of us. I pray that you too will stop and enjoy what God has in store for you.

In Him,

Melissa

Upcoming possibilities...

2010-12-05T10:08:00.000-08:00

As we look forward to the Christmas season, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. And as I face an upcoming possibility, I want to bask in God's grace, glory, and provision for our family. You see, Mike found out that he is on the deployment list for January. By God's divine mercy, I have yet to experience a deployment with kids. And now I have five children who will bear the weight of their Dad's absence for several months. Just as God provides for the lilies of the fields and the birds of the air, I know He will take care of us too. He has provided a wonderful church filled with many kind-hearted and tender servants who relish the opportunity to love on others. He has blessed Mike and I with a strong marriage that, I pray, will only be stronger by the end of the separation. He has blessed us with beautiful children who understand, way beyond their years, that Papa must go serve our country. So this update is to seek your prayers for our family this Christmas season... that we would truly understand God's provision for our salvation through a little baby who became the Savior of the world, that we would celebrate His birth without taking for granted all He has truly given to us, and that our family would bring God glory through the season as we prepare for this separation. Thank you!

In Him,

Melissa

Apologies and Thanksgivings

2010-11-29T05:54:00.000-08:00

I must first apologize for unintentionally taking a fifteen month hiatus from our family blog. We have indeed been busy traveling Europe while enjoying our overseas military tour here in Germany. In addition, I finished homeschooling our oldest daughter and our youngest son is now in kindergarten. All of the things that kept me consumed with schedules and routines has now been changed with the new school year. I do miss having the noise of children at home during the day. Yet, I am now thankful for a newfound freedom to go to Bible studies, get errands run quicker, update our blog and to run and exercise on my own time.

We've seen many changes in the kids. One in particular, our oldest is now taller than me! I have come to the realization that in a matter of a few short years, I will be the shortest in the family. There is no sense in denying it or even fighting it. I just have to accept that me being vertically challenged is a gift somehow.

Other news is that Mike helped the two Wings at our base pass a huge inspection that happens every five years. It was a challenge for him to take on this kind of responsibility. Now he is back with the squadron and loving his new flying schedule. He is busy going on short trips. We are still waiting to see what happens in the spring time for a possible deployment. Word has been getting around, but nothing official yet. And lastly, Mike was selected as an alternate for school come next summer. If he gets picked up, we will leave within a few weeks of notice causing us to cut our tour to Germany a year early. I keep praying that if he goes to school, that we'll be able to come back in the future before he retires.

Lastly, I have been trying to step out in faith to accomplish projects that God has laid on my heart. One is to continue composing piano music. A friend from church taught me how to use my iPod to record piano music as voice memos. I just hook up the little headset I bought with it and hit record. And now I can share my songs digitally! I am praying that somehow they will become worship songs for others to sing instead of melodies only playing in my head. Two, after much encouragement from a variety of people in my life, and with the help of Mike, I have decided to write a book explaining our creative discipline techniques. We continue to receive compliments on our children with others asking, "What did you do?" Those conversations end up with more questions seeking answers to various discipline scenarios. I don't know what will eventually come of writing my ideas down. But at least when someone asks what we did, I can say, "Here, read this." and send a copy to them.

In all things, I pray that God receives the glory for what happens in our family! We have much for which we are thankful.

Happy late Thanksgiving and early Merry Christmas!

Melissa

Our New Home in Germany

2009-08-13T01:52:00.000-07:00

God has truly blessed us with our new home in Germany!

We feel absolutely humbled by God's gracious provisions for our large family. I almost feel like He is giving us enough room to have more kids! We'll see on that one...

We have a master bedroom with an office, living room, kitchen, and bathroom on the first floor. The second floor is 4 kids' bedrooms and a bathroom. The top floor is another small bedroom and a kids's living room/play room. Then the basement has a laundry room, sauna(!), and another shower bathroom that one of the kids uses. In addition, it has a seperate two-bedroom apartment we will eventually rent out. God has richly blessed us! I know I don't deserve it. Each morning I wake up humbled realizing I am living in my dream home abroad.

We are now praying for visitors to come. So feel free to come over and use our house as a resting place in between European travels. "It's free to stay at the Pontiff B&B!"

Here are some more pics of the house. I will include more later once we get curtains and pics up. Thankfully, after 10 days, all the boxes are officially unpacked and put away!!!

Here is a panoramic picture out the back balcony. On the right is a deer farm, too cool!

This is the backyard with a shed/playhouse.

And this blew me away... granite flooring!

This is the kitchen. Enought room for our family of 7 AND guests!

We are so greatful to God for all He has given us. We are anxious and excited to see how He uses this home for His glory!

In Him,

Melissa

Safely in Germany

2009-06-29T06:11:00.000-07:00

Whew! What a few past weeks! ALOT has happened in the midst of our move and then having limited internet connection inabled me to update our blog. So here goes the quick synopsis of the last few weeks...

The kids and I said goodbye to Mike on the 9th of June so we could visit family (Dad, Step-mom, and sister's family) in College Station and Houston, TX before flying to Baltimore. We had a great time there and celebrated Dasha's 10th birthday along with one of my nephew's. Right before we headed out to Baltimore, Mike called to say that he was not going to be able to make our flight to Germany with us. The timing of his training in Arkansas would not allow him to make his connecting flight with us. So now, not only were we flying to Baltimore without him, now we were flying to Germany without him too!

My Dad and my sister helped me get to the airport and get to security. What a HUGE help! A funny part was that I was carrying my cat as a carry-on and they had me get her out of the soft kennel I had her in and carry her through the metal detectors. You should have seen the look on her face as she peered at all the people going through security. And then you should have seen me as I was holding her and praying that she would not be scared enough to act like a cat while at the same time corralling my kids through the metal detectors after having stripped them of their shoes and backpacks. Thankfully everyone we encountered had mercy on us!

We made it to Baltimore and spent the weekend with my Mom and Step-dad and his family. It was a nice, relaxing time to catch up with them since I had not seen them in years! We also enjoyed Father's Day with them.

Finally, the big day came to fly to Germany. All those months of hearing, "Mom, are we going to Germany now???" was finally answered with a, "YES! We are!" The kids did fantastic (only a few minor behavioral hiccups) and the military greatly assisted me with the acception of one tiny detail. They told me I could not carry the cat as a carry-on! Even though I flew with her as a carry-on through Continental, they said NO! I was very frustrated, but thankful that God provided a hard kennel through the airport and we were able to check her in as luggage. After that ordeal, I took the kids to dinner in the airport and then got them all Starbucks at 9pm. I needed them to stay awake for our 1215am flight. They loved that they got "coffee". I am already getting them hooked on caffeine! My plan worked well because they all stayed up until just after takeoff and then slept for a good portion of the flight. That really helped us overcome jetlag.

We met our sponsor's wife and a friend at the Ramstein AB airport and quickly settle into our new temporary home. We are still living out of luggage, but know that we are even closer to getting into our own home. Mike joined us the next morning and now the adventures of looking for a home and a car have begun, as well as all the in-processing. I am praying that soon I can write and add pics of our new home. In the meantime, we are greatful that God has brought us this far. We are so blessed to have this opportunity to live in another country.

In the meantime, Auf Wiedersehen!
Melissa

Movers come...again!

2009-06-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

It is two days before our movers come... again and I find myself packing... again. At least this time it in only a modified move since most of our things were moved in November. This time though, I just ache for my own place. And for somewhere where I will not have to move again in a few more months nor live out of a suitcase. All in all, I have been very blessed through these last 6 months. Over and over I was reassured through Mike's training schedule that coming with him was the best thing for our family. Despite the living and car arrangements, we have all been very happy here. Life has been truly simplified.

Monday brings our movers... please pray that we can get everything organized to pack and that they accept the weight allowance we were quoted when we came here. The office that moves people is trying to tell us that we only qualify to move the active duty member's weight allowance even though we were quoted so much per person leaving Del Rio. For a family of seven that difference is HUGE!

Tuesday is when we say goodbye to Mike and drive to College Station. I know this will be a good time to visit with my parents and my twin sister. Please pray for Mike's schedule to accomadate driving us to the rental car place and for me to be able to pack all 6 of our suitcases in the rental van with the cat and the kids. And then of course, for a smooth car ride that will take about 9 hours.

I will update more specifics when we get closer to fly again. But I do have one more prayer request... Mike's training dates. His graduation date is not set in stone. Yet with a large family, we have to plan to get on planes and make reservations than "winging" it. Now Mike's training looks like it has been pushed back a few days and I might be in Baltimore without him until the day before or day of our flight to Germany. I pray that his training gets bumped back up to his original training date for June 18th. God is the Master Planner and I know He will get us through this... together!

Thanks for thinking of us and keeping us in your prayers.

In Him,
Melissa

Have to Move Out of House!

2009-05-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

God has truly provided so much for us during this long transition of moving to Germany while being TDY for 6 months beforehand. We have not seen out stuff since right before Thanksgiving and summer is now quickly approaching. Nothing makes you appreciate your stuff more than being without it. Thankfully, God has taught me this lesson through a long move rather than a fire or other tragic methods. I realize it is ALL His and He is just loaning it to me. And thankfully, He will trust me again in a few short months to have it all back!

So now, let me explain having to move... again! Back in December, when Mike started training here, base housing offered us a fully furnished TLF to accomadate us for his TDY. They didn't realize that in the timeline Mike was scheduled to finish his training on 18 June while the street was supposed to begin renovations. Well, slowly over the course of the last two months we have noticed that with over 40 homes, we are one of three families left on our street. No big deal! The contractors will start after we leave, right? NO! I went to take care of May rent and to discuss out-processing in June and found out that our house needs to be vacated by 9 June. What to do for lodging for 10 days with 5 kids and a cat? My step-mom had been praying that we would take one last visit down to College Station to see them. And she has warned me all her life about the power in her prayers. I was once again shocked and amazed to see how strong her connection to God is because now I was forced to think of what to do for 10 days. The first thought that came to my mind... go home to Mom and Dad's! I reserved a rental car and the kids, the cat, and I will venture down to College Station on the 9th to enjoy time with my family. The catch... I have to fly with the kids and the cat to Baltimore by myself to meet up with Mike there once he is done with training. Please pray for me on June 19th!!!

Once we get to Baltimore, we get to visit with my mom, step-dad and his side of the family for four days before we fly out on the 23rd. This all follows a visit from Mike's parents over the Memorial Day weekend. We are truly blessed to be able to see so many before we head across the pond. I don't know when we will all make it back. Though, we are desperately and eagerly praying for LOTS of visitors to show up on our doorstep once we get settled in. Stop on by! "We'll leave the light on for ya!"

Busted Eardrum

2009-05-05T18:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I am adjusting to Arkansas by getting their allergies. I thought I caught a cold from my kids, but after two weeks of congestion I woke up early last Thursday morning with a horrible earache. I could not go back to sleep even though it was only 130 in the morning. By the time the base clinic opened, I was begging Mike to call in and get me an appointment. I got to see the doctor shortly after 8 AM. I explained to him that I felt like my eardrum was about to burst. He looked into my ear and said, "Yes, it looks like it's about to!" While talking with him about how my allergies caused congestion and then an earache, I heard popping noises in my ear and then felt what seemed like a small gush of warm water in my ear. I told the doctor that I just felt something. He put me back on the table and looked at my ear again. This time he said, "Yep! It just burst!" He gave me allergy meds, pain meds, and antibiotics. I needed them!

Thankfully, the pain is now gone. However, I can't hear very well from my right ear. It feels like I am listening through cotton or water. And now my left ear is trying to overcompensate to the point that it is overly sensitive to noise now. I can tell my kids now that whining really does hurt my ears. ; ) This was a reminder to me to be thankful for how healthy God has kept me. I can't remember the last time I needed prescribed medicine. So now I humbly ask for prayers for my ear to heal and for my hearing to be completely restored. I'll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime, we are scheduled to fly to Germany on June 23rd. The kids are very excited. They only have a few more weeks of school until summer break. By that point we'll be packing up our house and getting ready to live out of suitcases again. We are already trying to set up temporary lodging over there in addition to discussing the pros and cons of renting versus buying. Please pray for discernment and agreement for Mike and I as we decide where to live for the next few years. We want a home we can LOVE and also use as a ministry while over there.

Thanks for walking with us through this long military journey. We are thanking God for every fun-filled step of the way!

In Him,
Melissa

Stasia decides to get baptised.

2009-04-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Stasia decided to get baptised on 19 Apr 09 (this Sunday). So Mike decided to make a video for her. It explains everything. I hope you enjoy. God has truly blessed us with her adoption (and four others). ; ) I pray that this blesses those that watch it too!

Humbled by the blessing He has given me,

Melissa

(The music is Deeply In Love - words are below - and they are powerful!)

Deeply In Love
by Hillsong United

In my life You`ve heard me sayI love You

How do I show You it`s true

hear my heart, it longs for more of You..

I`ve fallen deeply in love with You..

You have stolen my heart

I`m captivated by You

Never will you and I part

I`ve fallen deeply in love with You

You and I, together forever

Nothing can, stand in the way

My love for You, grows strongereach new day.

I`ve fallen deeply in love with You

You have stolen my heart

I`m captivated by You

Never will you and I part

I`ve fallen deeply in love with You

Jesus, you've stolen my heart

I`m captivated by You

Never will you and I part

I`ve fallen deeply in love with You

Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri

2009-04-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

Mike planned a weekend trip to Branson, Missouri so we could take the kids to Silver Dollar City. We had a blast. A cool part of it was that they had a military discount - two day adult passes for the price of one and kids FREE!!! We spent less than $100 for all of us to go for two days. What a deal!

Here are some of the pics from the awesome weekend we had.

This is inside a weird mansion where the room is normal but your body equilibrium tells you its slanted, but your eyes can't tell and so your head feels dizzy after a few moments of being in there. We had to work hard to keep from falling over.

Eli and I are pulling ourselves up on this "do it yourself" swing. When you want to come down, you let go. Very kid (and Mama) friendly!

The kids and I got to see a saloon show. It was fun and my girls loved the dresses.

Here is a picture of me and the kids in this giant rocking chair. It fit all six of us! I liked it because it made me feel small. ; )

OK, the next two pics are absolutely hilarious. Mike wanted someone to go with him on a big roller coaster. Dasha insisted that she go with him, though two others wanted to go too. The problem was that once Dasha got strapped in and the ride started, she changed her mind... a little too late. The first one is her looking at the climb the coaster is about to take. The second one is when it shoots out at 60 MPH! Notice both of their faces.

This is the ship ride where the boat goes back and forth like a gigantic swing. The problem here is that the Dasha and Stasia are behind us in the rear of the ship. And Mike needed another adult on the end to sandwhich the three younger ones. I did NOT want to go, but also knew that if I didn't, neither could the younger ones. So begrudgingly, I got in. Maybe thirty seconds into the ride, I grabbed Mike's hand so hard and gripped it with the three kids in between, Bryan started crying, Alaizha started to get sick and whimpered, I started panicking to fight off the jumps I felt in my heart and stomach, and Mike turned around to see Stasia upset too. Eli, Mike, and Dasha were the only ones who could stomach that ride.

Alaizha and I got to ride the Dumbo ride, another kid (and Mama) friendly ride. She controlled the buttom that let us go up or down.

I got to enjoy a baby roller coaster ride with Bryan. He was too cute holding his hands in the air and hoopin' and hollerin'. Dasha and Eli are in the front and Stasia and Alaizha were at the back (they are not in the pic though).

We got into a water gun war. In the second picture you can see who lost and who won! I think Dasha got the most revenge... she was a quick and accurate shooter and quick to run off too.

I hope you enjoyed the pics. If you ever get a chance to go, it is well worth it!

In Him,

Melissa

Marathon - Finished!

2009-03-28T18:34:00.000-07:00

Praise the LORD! I finished my second marathon. I completed the race with Tiffany in about 5 hours and 24 minutes. It was TOUGH, but so rewarding to cross the finish line. I have been asked several times now why I ran the marathon. For one, I run for health reasons. My Dad had a five way by-pass a year a half ago. His active lifestyle kept his heart strong and surrounded with good veins that kep the blood pumping past the artery blockages. I know that I may have similar health problems if I fail to take care of myself NOW. I also gain weight easily and know that I need to keep an active lifestyle to keep the pounds off. Secondly, running is a spiritual endeavor for me. My first running partner, Michelle, taught me to use running as a prayer time. What a huge blessing I received from her Godly wisdom. Not only do I feel revived physically, I feel refreshed spiritually when I am done. HE is using me to do things I know I could not, nor would want to, do without HIM.

So thanks to all that prayed for me! I really appreciate you lifting me up.

My other updates for March are that Mike and I celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary on March 13th. Compliments of a friend of ours, we got a gift certificate to a VERY nice restaurant in downtown Little Rock. I even got beautiful roses and a journey pendant necklace (there are seven stones, one for each of us in the family) with some matching earrings.

The next update for March was that I celebrated my 33rd birthday with my twin sister in College Station. The kids had their Spring Break the week of my birthday, so we drove down to my parent's house and celebrated there. Mike was so sweet to let me go. But when I got home on Friday, I found that he baked me a cake so he could celebrate too - even if it was late. The kids liked that, they got more desert!

Can you tell which one is me? Email me if you can't figure it out and want the answer!

Well, the kids and I are finally back home from Spring Break and ready for April to begin. I will write again soon with those details. ; )

Little Rock Marathon in three weeks. Here I come!

2009-02-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's official. I am signing up for the Little Rock Marathon which will be on March 15th. I waited to say anything because I hadn't truly made up my mind. I was scared... that I would hurt myself, wouldn't make it, etc. But today, God helped me run 20 miles!!! It was awesome because Tiffany, my running partner, and I met up with a marathon training group. There were easily a hundred people who turned out to run 12 in prep for the half or 20 in prep for the whole. The entire route was planned and they even had a few water stations for us just in case we couldn't carry enough water with us. We met at 6AM, yes I said 6AM. Needless to say, I went to bed by nine... before all of my kids. Then I woke up a little after 4AM to get a good Biblestudy in and a cup of coffee through my system. This worked out great because the day turned out very rainy and ended with the runners soaked to the bone. I would have easily talked myself out of running today if I had waited to see the weather forecast. But I was already two hours into the run when the steady rain hit us. Too late to quit by then. It just reminded me of my run with Michelle in Del Rio where we were gutsy enough to run 13 miles in a thunderstorm. It made me smile. ; ) The only difference was the temperature... it was freezing or at least felt like that since it was in the 40's. I opted for some Starbucks on the way home to warm me up. At least that was my excuse!

So please think of me in three weeks. As you go to church on Sunday, pray for mine and Tiffany's physical, emotional, physcological, and spiritual strength to perservere in another run for Christ. I am so thankful for all of you!

Running for His glory,
Melissa

Marathon training?

2009-01-30T09:28:00.000-08:00

Well, not much has happened since we got settled into our house at Little Rock AFB. We have gotten some pretty cold weather, compared to Del Rio at least. The kids even got their first ice storm- no school - day on Tuesday even though nothing really happened in our area. It was a nice, unplanned, relaxing family day.

My only big news, for this post, is that I found a new running partner who is planning to run the Little Rock Marathon in March. I told her I wouldn't mind running parts of her long runs with her. I would just bail out when I got tired. Well, last weekend we ran over 13 miles. So now, I am considering running the full marathon again!!! Yikes! I have never considered myself a runner. And when I ran my first marathon in San Antonio in November '07, I said that would be my first last. God tends to throw me for loops every now and then. Including now! I was satisfied to never run over a half-marathon again and even then only do that every once in a while just to keep myself in shape. But now I feel like God is encouraging me to run the marathon again. I can tell because I am excited to get out there and run for Him. And if my focus is off, even short runs are painful. With Him, they are breaths of fresh air, literally! Please pray for this hard decision. I have a few long runs over the next few weekends (16, 18, 14, and 20) and will use this to help me determine if I can do it again, by the grace of GOD! I'll try to keep my post updated. ; )

In His Strength,
Melissa

Happy New Year 2009!

2009-01-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to everyone! I am glad to say that the beginning of this year is alot better than the end of last year. All of the kids are doing much better, only a few occasional coughs now. And we have now moved into our new, temporary, 3-bedroom home as seen below. I even included a picture of our new living room. It is much smaller and sparse than before. Yet, I am thankful for God's provisions. Just to give you an idea how much we fill up our new home, Alaizha has to store her clothes in the hall linen closet. I put her underwear and socks in seperate bags to keep them organized and in one spot on the shelf since we ran out of dresser drawers between the rest of the kids. She is a good sport about it. ; ) I had to buy two plastic shelving units to store games/toys/arts supplies with my office stuff and another in the kitchen to store food (there isn't a pantry). I am learning to be content with little as well as with much! Thanks for all the prayers during our transition. I feel like I am home now because we are all with Mike!

Need prayers!

2008-12-23T08:49:00.000-08:00

OK. I am desperate and I need your prayers. As most of you know, Mike has been TDY in Arkansas for two weeks. We are in the middle of a move living out of suitcases while staying with my in-laws. And now all five kids are sick! My youngest, Bryan, was taken to the ER on Sunday because he was having coughing fits that lasted over 30 minutes and included him coughing so hard that he vomited three times. Turned out that cough medicine was not working because he had an upper respiratory infection. He is now doing much better, still coughing some, but much, much better. However, last night Alaizha went to bed early with a 103.5 temp. And then all three girls woke up coughing and with fevers. Eli is coughing, but no fever yet. I am trying to get the base clinic to see us, give me advice, anything that will stop whatever is taking over my family.

To add the madness, Mike started his drive home today and didn't even make it out of the city. He is in the car shop trying to figure out what is wrong with the truck and how long it will take to fix.

Please pray for us!!! I don't know what else to do. I'm praying that I can post some better news in a few days. Thanks for being there with me.

Melissa

The beginning of December brings...

2008-12-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe that three weeks has past since my last update and I feel like that was just yesterday. Boy, time flies when you are busy.

We finally moved out of our house the last week of November and our renters took over on the first of December. That us such a huge sense of relief for us to have someone taking care of our home.

Our family was then blessed to spend Thanksgiving in College Station with my parents, my sister from Florida and my sister from Arizona and their families. We just relaxed - no moving, no cleaning (well, a little), no organizing piles... And we ate!

We came back to Del Rio refreshed and ready to spend the next few weeks unsettled and as guests in my in-laws home. Thank God for them and thier generosity! And their babysitting. The picture above is our last date night out on Friday when we attended our squadron Christmas party. I wanted to go out Texas style!

Lastly, Mike left today for Arkansas to begin training on Wednesday. He is going to get us our new address and secure our temporary house for early January just in time for the girls to go back to school. We should hopefully only be seperated for two weeks. It is still tough though being without Mike. Thanks for the continued prayers through this long transition. We are enjoying it.

In God's Grace,
Melissa

Moving Day Has Arrived

2008-11-19T12:27:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord, He provided renters for our home. The first people to inquire about our house saw it and called within a few hours to say they wanted to rent. That was last Monday (9 days ago). This past Monday we got confirmation that movers would be coming on Tuesday, the next day! So needless to say, my world (my home) has been turned upside down and inside out in less than 48 hours. I would compare this move to ripping a bandaid off. If it is going to happen, just do it fast.

So where are we going to live now, you ask? Mike's parents have graciously opened thier home to us. We will be with them for about three weeks, two of which Mike will be in training. We'll stay in Del Rio through Christmas, then head up to Arkansas by the New Year where we will live in a full furnished three-bedroom TLF (temporary living facility-small house) on base. They even said I could bring my cat. ; ) And the school will be walking distance for the girls. Isn't God good? And to think I was sweating the details.

Thanks for praying for us through this move. We still have 7 more months to go before we finish and appreciate any continued prayers. We are greatful for those who are "living" this with us. Enjoy the before and after pics of the move. ; )
Me stressed! Me relaxed!

The boys room before... and after.

The dining room before... and after.

The living room before... and after.

Good buy stuff. See you in 7 months, God willing.

Officially move in December

2008-11-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

Mike and I were able to make some definitive decisions this week regarding our upcoming move. The first major thing will be movers coming to pack up our home the first week of December. Then Mike will leave on the 7th for Little Rock, Arkasas to start his training while I stay with the kids and finish out school 'til the holiday break. He'll come back here for Christmas with his parents and then the whole family will move to Little Rock the last week of December. We put our name on the base TLF waiting list which is a fully furnished three bedroom house. We won't have to set up or close any utility accounts, we'll be walking distance to the school on base, and they will let me bring our cat. God is slowly showing us He is providing our every need. And now we are waiting to see what He will do with our house... still looking for renters or buyers.

So that is the most current update on our end. In the meantime, I am relishing every last moment of our time here. I am really going to miss the people here - my church family, my women's Biblestudy, my neighbors, and my friends. God has really blessed us here. Thank you, LORD!

Cardboard Box Maze

2008-11-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

Last night, for Halloween, our church sponsored a Fun Fall Festival. Mike came up with the idea of creating a "Cardboard Box Maze" three years ago. This is this year's edition! We all had a blast putting it together over several hours.

The Fun Fall Festival turned out to be a great outreach to our community. It provided a safe and fun place for lots of children to play in activities, get free candy, and earn prizes. This is one of the many things I will miss about our church when I leave. Maybe I can convince our next church to do something similar... God willing. ; ) Happy late Holloween and welcome to November!

Goodbye to Cali!

2008-10-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

Within the last few weeks, Mike and I noticed that our cat, Cali, had isolated herself from us. We first became aware that she was getting sick. However, when she began refusing her favorite soft cat food, we knew something was wrong. I started to keep an eye on her realizing she was not playing with us, keeping us company, or greeting us anymore. We finally decided this morning to take her to the vet.
I went in with her thinking that I would walk out with some meds that would make her feel better in a few days. What I got instead was the notification that her liver had failed and she was close to dying. My heart just cried out in disbelief. This is my cat that is only four years old, was with me when we brought our girls home from Ukraine, gave us Sumy (our other cat which is her daughter) by giving birth on my bed, sat on the porch with me, sat near me in the morning while I drank coffee and had my quiet times... Now I was being told that she was fatally ill.
I have never had to put an animal to sleep. I couldn't understand how the vet knew she was sick when she was still walking around - not eating, sleeping, drinking, or using the litterbox though. Mike and I had to put her first and think of her best interests. He asked me, "Can you sleep tonight now that you know how much pain she is going through?" No, I could not! But then, how do I tell the children? We decided to wait until they got home from school and let them say goodbye. Of course, our two oldest daughters took it very hard. It is one thing to grieve for yourself and another to watch your children grieve. There is so little that can be done to console them over a lost "family member" like her. We let them talk to her by themselves, take pictures, and say goodbye. Then we took her back to the vet for the hardest part.
Since we are selling our house, a dear friend of mine allowed us to bury Cali on her property near some water where some other animals are buried. Only God knows why he took her so soon. Only God knows where pets go after they die here. That is a question my daughters are still pondering. But I go to the words that comforted and are still comforting me... "Not one sparrow falls to the ground apart from the will of the father" (Matt. 10:29). God knew Cali was leaving our home today. And He is comforting all of us through it. "Surely I am with you always..." (Matt. 28:20).

Trip to Big Bend

2008-10-17T07:20:00.001-07:00

Mike and I took all the kids on a camping trip to Big Bend this weekend. We had a blast while physically exerting ourselves and seeing God's beautiful creation. There are some pics attached that show the breathtaking scenery as well as one of God's very friendly creatures.

The scenic view is from the top of Emory Peak which is a 9 mile roundtrip hike. It is well worth it, but not for little ones. Luckily, one of our frinds stayed behind with our three little ones so both Mike and I could go up with Stasia and Dasha.

Here is our friendly skunk. She decided to join the adult converstation after we got all the kids down.

I would have pet her, if I didn't think she would

spray me. ; )

Stasia slightly sprained her ankle and Dasha hurt her knee,

so Bryan, Eli, and Alaizha did

a smaller hike with me right before we left.

Thanks also for praying about our move stuff. We are still progressing with Mike's plans to leave for Arkansas on 7 Dec. We are leaving our house situation to God to see which one comes first, a buyer or a renter. We are open either way. God has not left us yet, nor will He leave us now. I am confident of that!

Melissa

To sell or not to sell? That is the question!

2008-10-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

Considering how the economy has been going the last few weeks in light of the bailouts, houses are not moving. So in the midst of all the other decisions we need to make in regards to moving, our question comes back to us in need of another answer. Do we still try to sell our home or now should we look into renting?
Control is area of weakness for me, especially passing it over to my husband. I am a true military wife in that I have trained myself how to handle it all... at least that is what I tell myself. Then God comes along to shatter my overly confident self perception and show me I am still under His wings even if I can't see the next step in front of me. Why is this so scary-not knowing what tomorrow holds? I don't know if I will ever truly know the answer. However, at the same time, I am learning to relax and stand firm that God already knows how I am going to get to our next assignment, where our kids will go to school, where we will live, whether we will rent or sell this house, whether we will rent or buy the next... The details are endless and yet God knows and cares about each and every single one.
So as I struggle with giving over control, I pray that each of you will realize God's sovereignty in your life and that He has ordained the days of your life. There is no need to worry about tomorrow. He is already taking care of that too.
Thanks Lord for your provisions!
Melissa

October is here!

2008-10-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well, October is finally here bringing with it some cooler weather. I look forward to the days when we can wear long sleeves and sweatshirts all day, not just in the morning before 9am.

There isn't much to update over the last two weeks. Though I have maintained a certain level of busyness. Between appointments for school, dentist, and physical forms being filled out for our orders to Germany, I have a child with eight cavities (yes, I said eight!) that will undergo anesthesia next Tuesday.

In the meantime, I am trying to work on getting my quiet time done earlier and to pray more. I don't know why this is so hard for me. But please pray that I will pray! ; ) I have been convicted to pray about specific things as well as outside my little circle. I need to pray for our leaders, our country, our city, my/our pastors, my husband, my children specifically, not just in general. Thanks in advance for any prayers and/or encouragement.

Melissa

Texas Adoption Story

2008-09-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

My children are such a testimony to me and a reminder of God's faithfulness to provide the desires of my heart. Here is our second adoption story. The beginning sadly tells of us losing our first set of three siblings who ended up with a grandmother to the youngest. We were devasted with the blow after taking care of and loving the children for 8 and a half months. During the following 6 months, we waited for the grandmother's evaluation period to end just in case the children were put back in the foster care system and hopefully come back to our home. My favorite song for this time of our life was "Praise You in the Storm" by Casting Crowns (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bo2nJr7JHsI). I had to choose to praise "the God who gives and takes away". I am so glad I did because His story was not done. Seven months after losing Alon, Nick, and Michelle, we got our next adoption phone call. The rest of the story is below...

11 Oct 07

Hello once again,

Well after several months of waiting to see if Alon, Nick, and Michelle would come back we found out that they are doing great and will remain with their grandmother. It was hard for me to move on, but I finally agreed that God still has a plan in our life. Well, much to our amazement and awe, He has blessed us once again. This time we recieved a phone call to adopt two brothers (3 1/2 and 2 1/2) who were living with relatives after their parents' rights had been terminated. We eagerly said yes!!! Two days later we verified that CPS had chosen us to take them and they sent us an email about them. However, when I opened the file, I found three names - they have a 4 1/2 year old sister. I called about her and found out that she is in another foster home and that they gave up trying to place all three siblings together. Eli and Bryan joined our family tonight and their older sister, Alizhia, will join us in a few weeks. Once she is placed with us, we should be able to start filing adoption paperwork so that the adoption can hopefully take place in the spring. We must have them for 6 months, then the following month we go before the judge. We are so excited at another opportunity to see God have our family grow. Please add us to your prayer lists once again as our hearts become attached to these little ones. We are so blessed!!! The Lord gives and takes away! Blessed be His name. ; )

In Him,Mike, Melissa, Stasia, Dasha, Eli, and Bryan

14 Nov 07

Hello again to all,

We wanted to share the news that Alaizha has now joined our family. She got here yesterday afternoon and has been overwhelmed with her welcome by her brothers and new sisters. We have seen her smile a few times and pray that as she becomes more comfortable, we will see more. Bryan and Eli, along with Dasha and Stasia, are absolutely thrilled with having one more child in the house. It is amazing how exponentially magnified chaos can be when one more child is added. ; ) We did get good news too that since they have been in foster care now for three years, we should be able to find a favorable decision with the judge to waive the six months waiting period. We would then just wait out the time it takes to pull together all the adoption paperwork. With the holidays, it make take longer than normal. However, it is likely that we could see the adoption take place as soon as February. YEAHHHHHH!!!!!

Please be praying for us, our agency, and our adoption attorney-that we would do all the required paperwork. And that others affecting the paperwork getting done, would not delay longer than necessary. We are so excited to see these three children become part of our family. I am so humbled at how God has provided in His timing, which is always perfect even when I can't see or understand. Thank you to those that have been praying with us on this endeavour since last summer. I am praying in faith that this time the adoption will soon come to pass. We are so incredibly blessed to have friends walk with us through this - physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

In Him,Mike, Melissa, Stasia, Dasha, Alaizha, Eli, and Bryan

25 Mar 08

Hello once again to all,

Sorry for the months of delay in our updates. Beleive it or not, this whole time we have been getting paperwork done and waiting to fulfill our 6 month obligation (which is officially 13 May). We have crossed a huge hurdle as of yesterday, our case has been officially been transfered to the adoption unit with CPS. This means we are in the final stages of the process and should hopefully finalize the adoption in several more weeks. Right now we are being told mid to end of May. So please keep praying for us as we complete more paperwork and now have to involve attorneys and set adoption dates. We are eager to see God close this hectic chapter of our lives and open a new door for our children, assurance that this is THEIR family forever. Thank you again for walking this road with us emotionally, spiritually, and for some of you physically. We could not do this without the strength that God provides from your prayers. We will hopefully send another update soon.

In His Grace,Mike, Melissa, Stasia, Dasha, Alaizha, Eli, and Bryan

2 May 08

To all,

It is our pleasure to announce that we will be going to court on May 21st at 1:30 pm, central standard time, to adopt Alaizha, Eli, and Bryan. This is the culmination point of over two years worth of prayer to see God have our family grow. We are excited, anxious, tired, and yet so incredibly happy that I have cried because we are finally at this point. In just nineteen days, they will be officially part of our family with no other home visits, inspections, reports to write, medicines to log, etc. They will be part of our family just as if there were born into it (and believe me, I feel like they were birthed into it, at least emotionally!!!). One last time, please keep us in your prayers that this court date will come and go smoothly with no delays. We will travel to Odessa, TX, about 4 hours (?) away. And I will send out our final adoption update then. Thank you for your two year endeavour with us as you have prayed with us, laughed with us, cried with us,and now rejoice with us for what the LORD has done. I look forward to writing to you again in less than three weeks. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!

In Him,Mike, Melissa, Stasia, Dasha, Alaizha, Eli, and BryanPS Two pics are below - one is of Bryan and Eli (Bryan dressed himself with his clothes on backwards) - the other is us indoctrinating the kids with Aggie Spirit.

22 May 08

To all our family and friends,

It is our pleasure to announce - We did it!!!!

We would like to announce the adoption of Alaizha Grace, Elias Michael, and Bryan Andrew Pontiff at 2:00 PM on 21 May 2008.

It was a long 4 hour drive up to Odessa, Texas but well worth it for the short 30 minute court appearance. The culmination of 2 years of foster care, paperwork, and uncertainty finally came to an end. As many of you know this journey has not been an easy one for us, but the end result makes it all worth it.Here's a short synopsis of what happened at court. Our attorney called CPS to the stand to testify that adoption is in the best interest of the children and the State of Texas, and that we were a suitable and loving family. Then he called Mike to the stand to testify that he was ready to assume full legal responsibility for the children as if they were born into our own family. Mike tried not to cry, but failed. Then Melissa was called to the stand and testified about how she loved the children and gave a praise to God during the testimony. Stasia and Dasha also testified that they wanted them to be their brothers and sister. Following all the testimony, the judge ruled that adoption would be in the best interest of the children and granted the adoption and name changes! That was it! We stayed for some pictures and hugs.

We were joined in court by our pastor and his wife as well as two of my Air Force coworkers. Also, Melissa's Dad drove all the way from College Station to be with us for the short ceremony.

In this long journey, given the many hiccups and one failed attempt, you might be wondering if we are done with adoption forever. We'll just be happy to say that we are done for now. It's time to let God mature our family together and if we feel called to adopt again, you can look forward to hearing from us in similar format. Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. Glory to God for bringing us through this joyous and happy event. Here are some important dates for all you family members who requested birthday information, and a picture taken at court today.

Alaizha - 29 Nov 2002Eli - 26 Dec 2003Bryan - 19 Nov 2004

With love,Mike, Melissa, Stasia, Dasha, Alaizha, Eli, and Bryan

Our Ukrainian Adoption

2008-09-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

As you already know, Mike and I have adopted five kids by the grace of God. Here is the story of our first adoption when we adopted Stasia and Dasha from Ukraine. When we found out we couldn't have children, we decided immediately to adopt. We felt strongly that God wanted us to adopt siblings. Knowing from other testimonies how difficult adoption can be, we decided to email our friends and family to pray with us the whole way. I am attaching the email updates that we sent out detailing our journey, feelings, God stories and more of one of the happiest days for Mike and I. It is long, but shares our experiences as they were happening.

January 26, 2005

Friends and Family,Melissa and I received our invitation from the National Adoption Center in Ukraine for an appointment on February 9th to begin the process for adopting our children. We will be working really hard to get all our last minute plans ironed out to be able to make the trip happen. Our agency may ask for an extension since everything is such short notice, but we are making arrangements to travel just in case we cannot change appointment days.If we go on the original date, then we will most likely complete our adoption and be returned back to Texas by early March if everything goes well. Please keep us in your prayers as we make preparations to add two children to the family, and pray that our process is smooth. Email will be the best way to get updates, but we don't have much time for individaul replies (we are completing the sale on our house, getting all our paperwork arranged, and making travel plans, etc.)

With love,Mike and Melissa

February 5, 2005

Friends and Family,Within two weeks of getting our adoption appointment date, Melissa and I have managed to pull together all the required paperwork, make all our travel arrangements, purchase our new home in Del Rio, fire our adoption contacts in the Ukraine, hire new ones, and move out of our lodging into another building here at Randolph AFB. Also, I managed to pass my first T-6 checkride while all of this was going on... No way we could have done all of this without your prayers and the help of an almighty God. We can hardly believe the way everything has fallen into place, but we will be stepping on a plane in tomorrow to Kiev to meet our new children. If you are interested in our whole adoption story and the testimony that God is building, we could write a book. That will be a story for another day, but let me say that the ending is not written yet so please continue to remember us in your prayers the next few weeks. We will send email updates from Ukraine and appreciate your words of encouragement.

Love, Mike and Melissa

February 10, 2005

Hello everyone,Here we are in Kiev enjoying the frigid Ukrainian winter. We arrived safely on Monday very late in the evening and managed to quickly process through customs. We had to declare the cash we brought to pay for adoption fees and I laughed when the customs agent said in a thick Russian accent, "Show me the money". I wanted to try and get him to shout it by saying "What?" over and over again but it was very late and it had been nearly 24 hours since we left San Antonio.

($11,000 cash for all the fees we'd ned to pay- we spent it all and more!)

Kiev was kinda shady at night, but our apartment is very nice and a pleasure to return to at the end of the day. Tuesday was document translation day and recover from our travel day. We met up with Mindy Grammar, Melissa's roommate from Texas A&M who does missions work in Kiev. It was a grand reunion and everyday so far we have spent some time with Mindy.

Wednesday was our appointment date, so we arrived at the National Adoption Center to learn that because our documents were all recently updated (the day prior) we would be on the waiting list for an appointment. We waited for 4 hours in the lobby to learn that we would have to come back on Thursday since they ran out of time that day. Melissa had to listen to me lecture on how silly the system is here and it could be better. The best example is that the most stressful event of the adoption is the selection process where they lay out hundreds of photos and papers of children available and make you pick the ones you will visit in 30 minutes! I sat in the lobby for 4 hours and didn't look at one folder... Silly...So we returned to the NAC today for a scheduled appointment.

Melissa and I came here for two children, preferably twins or a sibling group of very young age. We were shown only children ranging from 8 to 15 years old initially, and after turning away hundreds of heartbreaking pictures and explaining to our facilitator that the children were too old for a young couple like us did we begin to see younger children that they somehow forgot to show us initially...After nearly 40 minutes of paper shuffling, we came across two sisters, Annastasia (7) and Darina (5) who only recently became available for adoption. My heart jumped and the rest of the pictures just passed away. Melissa had a good feeling about them too so we asked the important questions. Their health is good, they have different surnames but the same mother which means they might have different fathers. They have only been in the orphanage since 2003 which is good compared to some dates we saw. They are together and live in a town named Sumy, not far from the Russian border (it's close to Kursk).We had a peace about it which quickly became excitement. (No diapers!!!) Are these two girls the ones God had set aside for us? We hope to find out when we meet them on Saturday or Monday.

Please continue to pray because the process is far from over. There is much more bureacracy to overcome and a dramatic first meeting on the horizon.Kiev is nice, Ukrainian people are wonderful, and we haven't gotten sick yet. I do have a flare up in my neck injury, but we will see a chiropractor named Vladomir tomorrow. Maybe he can straiten me out!!!

Lots of love,Mike and Melissa

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

February 14, 2005 Valentine’s Day

Hello from Sumy, Ukraine.These last two days have been the greatest of Melissa and my married life. It's like all the waiting and praying for the last two years has paid off with a blessing beyond all others we have ever experienced since our wedding!!!Here's the details. We left for Sumy on Sunday with the necessary paperwork to meet the Anastasia and Darina who we picked out of hundreds of children because of a nudge from God. We rolled into town and made arrangements for a place to stay. We are in a soviet era apartment complex which is maybe 900 Sq Ft. We share it with our interpreter, Elena, and it is comfortable enough for our stay here.

We were very nervous when we pulled up to the orphanage the first time. It looked vacant from the outside, but was in the middle of the city, surrounded by apartments. The snow around the building and in the playground was not new, but their were no tracks. The children don't go outside in the yard to play in the winter.

(The outside of Stasia and Dasha's orphanage-this is one of the better ones!)

We walked in and were escorted to the directors office where we met the director, a very friendly lady who sent for the girls.I had warned Melissa that even though our hopes were high that this day would be our chance to evaluate whether the girls would fit into our family and discern what God was telling us to do.

All our hopes were fufilled instantly as we saw Darina (Dasha as she is called for a nickname) come running around the corner and come to a complete stop at the door.She was beautiful with hair in pony tails and bell bottom suede pants that were barely hanging on. Our hearts melted right away and knew that we were looking at our new daughter. She came up to us and stood between Melissa and I as we talked with her through our interpreter. "What is your name?" "How old are you?" The typical questions, we introduced ourselves and then Anastasia walked in. Another heart melting and we knew again what was meant to be.Melissa gave them some gifts we brought. A teddy bear for each and some gum candy. They were happy for the gifts and we laughed as we tried to teach them to say "Thank You". We then asked if they knew why we had come to the orphanage. Dasha responded "Amerkanski"... Yes, we want to ask you to be part of our family. Somehow the translation came out "Mama and Papa" Which brought a smile to both of their faces and hugs all around. It was better than Christmas!!! We asked if they wanted to come back to America with us and be our daughters and they both said "Da!"Melissa then pulled out one more present, a picture we had taken together in Kiev. We handed it to both of the girls and asked who it was in the picture. Dasha immediatly said "Mama! Papa!" It was a moment we will all never forget. We made more small talk and discussed their health, which is good, and some of the adoption specifics while they sat on our laps and played with their teddy bears. We were there nearly an hour before we said farewell, and promised to return later in the day (it was their nap time).

(Our first family picture after meeting them ten minutes before.)

Anastasia just turned 7 in January. She is the spitting image of my big sister Danielle with the same hair and facial features. I thought she was Danielle many times and know they share more than just looks. We have taken to calling her Stacia. She was not raised in State care, her mother raised her until she was 5 when she could no longer care for her and placed her in the orphanage. Dasha was raised from birth in the orphanages and has had very little contact with her mother. They were never really aware of each other until they were both placed in the same orphanage two years ago, which is when they became very close. Stacia is very shy, and took some time to warm up and talk with us. She also responds better to Melissa, since the orphanages have all women staff. Darina attached immediatly to us. She is clingy and talks even though we don't understand each other. She runs from place to place and reminds me of what I must of been like as a child, a little bit of a hell raiser! They balance each other out but the wierdest thing is that Stacia follows Darina everywhere and there is no doubt who the boss is. I've never seen a younger sibling with so much power, except maybe Christi.

We couldn't be happier and since the first meeting we have played with them in the gym numerous times. They will be a perfect fit to the Pontiff, Villarreal, and Worley clans. I know that when each of you sees the pictures, you will see that we were a family long before our first meeting. God has an amazing way of working things out. One minute later, and we may never have met them (another family was considering them).

Please continue to pray because the bureacracy in this country is amazingly confusing. It will take a few more weeks just to get through the courts, the paperwork must be perfect. A lot of it is out of our hands and depends on translators and people we have hired. Also, we have to pay a certain "expedited" fee which in the states we could call "bribe" for every bit of our process. It's in God's hands still, so keep praying.

Thank you for your support and emails so far.

Love,Mike, Melissa, Stacia, and Dasha

February 17, 2005

Hello friends and family,Thanks so much for all of the encouraging emails. Melissa and I are so overwhelmed with the support and affection we feel from all of you around the world. We would like to reply to them all but you will understand that technology here isn't quite as good as the USA. We will try to get around to it!

So the story continues...After our first meeting with Stasia and Dasha, we have been to the orphanage every day to interact and play with them. We usually get 3 or 4 hours a day with them. They still belong to the State, so they must live in the orphanage but we can see them generally whenever. They cannot leave with us, not yet!!! In our short times shared together we can easily feel the bonds of love growing stronger and more intense. Melissa and I had to sit down and talk about our feelings for some time since these are our first children and all new emotions are welling up! She has to share my affections with two other girls, but we're OK with that. ; )

Now for the cute stories. The girls needed some blood work to be cleared medically for the adoption. We went to the orphanage one morning to see the girls and they were at the hospital getting the tests. We walked outside of the orphanage just as they came around the corner from their taxi ride. Dasha came running to me so fast that she slipped on the ice and fell at my feet before I could grab her. I scooped her up and saw nothing but joy in her eyes! In her cute russian voice she tried to tell me she had been hurt by the needle and I could tell from her nose she had been crying.

The saddest part of this outdoor experience is that several other children in the orphanage were watching from the window and we could hear them yelling "Mama, Papa". It just breaks your heart to see them.Stasia was playing with a rotating metal ring which she would spin while her sister tried to toss bean bags through. She leaned over to spin it one time and it bumped her head. Melissa's maternal instincts kicked in right away and she went to comfort Stasia. Melissa just held her and rocked while she cried quietly and recuperated from the blow. It was like they were both longing for that very moment from the first time we met, Melissa to hold and love her and Stasia to feel loved and protected. It was amazing to watch!We are told this is one of the better orphanages our facilitator has seen. The children are educated and disciplined, the facility is good, and there are good directors. Many children in Ukrainian orphanages are not available for international adoption because the parents put them in for temporary economic reasons. In Dasha's group there are 17 children but only 3 available for adoption. The girls really love our digital camera, and have taken to posing like models then running over to see what the photo looks like. They have learned numbers through ten and can do the "Hokey Pokey" although they haven't figured out difference between right and left and mama and papa are the only ones singing.

Some amazing testimonies now...One of the Ukrainian documents had expired, Stasia's father's releasing parental rights. Although no one had seen him or heard from him in Sumy for several years, we needed to redo the form in front of Notary before we could proceed. Our facilitator tracked him to another town, and found him 20 minutes before he would be leaving for a long trip. WHOA!!!! This event saved us several weeks of waiting!!! The form was updated and things are proceeding nicely. The prayers are paying off!

We still need prayer that our forms are correct, our facilitator left for Kiev today to get approval from the National Adoption Center to complete the adoption. We should have a court date by the end of next week and the girls will officially belong to our family. Timing is still the biggest prayer request. If things continue at their current pace we could be back in San Antonio the end of the first week of March which would be wonderful!We are now alone in Sumy, no translators. Just our girls, and a piece of paper with English on one end and Russian on the other so we can point to places we want our cab drive to go. McDonalds is spelled the same in both languages...

We love and miss all of you.Mike, Melissa, Stasia (pronounced Stay-sha), and Dasha (like Tasha, but with a D).

February 22, 2005

Hello Friends and Family,No giant news since our last update, we are still just waiting for Thursday to find out if the National Adoption Center has appoved our adoption request. IF everything is OK, we will have court on Friday, leave for Kiev with our new daughters on Saturday, have an appointment at the Embassy Monday, and be home by Wednesday the 2nd of March!!!! Oh, what a praise that would be. Our biggest prayer request is the timing. I only have leave until the 15th of March and still need to get the family all moved into our new house in Del Rio.

The last few visits have been very encouraging. The reality of parenthood is beginning to set in, we had to dicipline Dasha for the first time because she was simply out of control. All the books we have read went out the window as we tried patiently to calm her down, but she thought everything was just a game. All she knows of Mama and Papa so far is that we are like giant toys. We found a way to nicely let her know that things are serious and she is beginning to respond to directions.

I think these days of short visits is beneficial because Melissa and I walk away from each visit with some things to talk about without the girls, so we can begin to develop our parenting skills as a team. It's like having a timeout in a game to reform the plan. Soon, there will be no timeouts!

The most encouraging part of the last few days was that we finally had a serious talk with them about God. We have been able to pray with them everyday but they didn't understand what it was all about because we couldn't explain anything. Yesterday, we had our friend Mindy there and she translated for us what we had been trying to show them with actions for so many other days.

We asked had they ever prayed before and the answer was that they had been to church. We explained that prayer is a time we talk to God. They asked who is this God? We were able to tell them that God is good and creator of the world. We also told them that God brought us together from so many miles apart and made us a family. Mindy translated quite effectively and the girls began to understand that prayer is a chance to thank God for making us a family. For the first time they were quiet and reverent for our prayer together.It made us both so glad! It was like the first real family prayer.

We have so many more stories to tell but we are going over to visit with them some more this afternoon.Thanks again for your prayers and encouragement.

Mike, Melissa, Stasia, and Dasha

February 25, 2005

Friends and Family,It gives me great pleasure to announce the adoption of Anastasia Gabrielle Pontiff and Darina Elizabeth Pontiff on February 25th, at 0920 Ukrainian Time. The girls weigh about 60 lbs and 50 lbs respectively, and are almost 4 feet tall. Mother is doing fine and father is nearly out of money...

Today marked the end of a chapter of Melissa and my journey together, and the beginning of our walk as a family. On Thursday night we received a call from our facilitator saying all the paperwork was in order at the National Adoption Center and we were cleared to proceed with the adoption.

This morning, we met with the orphanage director, the director of schools, our girls, and a judge of the region of Sumy. I was a little nervous walking into the judges chambers but the smiles on our girls faces washed away all our anxiety and we just had a conversation with the judge. As he reviewed our paperwork, he asked questions, "Will Melissa be working, tell me about your house, why did you come to Ukraine, how was your contact with the girls, etc..." We answered all his questions and waited patiently for a decision.

His last question was directed to the girls. "Stasia, do you want to go with them?" "Da!" "Dasha, do you want to go with them?" "Da!"The judge immediately replied, "Then, you will go." Just like that, Melissa and I became the legal parents of our new daughters.

We spent the rest of the day doing paperwork and changing names and other legal mumbo-jumbo. When the day closed, we were only waiting for the completion of their passports which will probably happen on Monday or Tuesday. We expect to be home in San Antonio on the 2nd or 3rd of March.

We have received requests for gifts for the girls, and I can tell you that we have nothing for them so far. Since we came to the Ukraine unsure of gender or age, we didn't buy anything prior to coming here. We have purchased 3 outfits to get them home but plan on buying everything when we get home. So, the range of presents you can buy is limitless since they don't have anything. Gift certificates are preferable but all ranges of clothes (just aim for 7 year old girls) and toys would be acceptable and appreciated.We'll send out another update as things progress.

Please continue the prayers, because we are not home yet!

Mike, Melissa, Stasia and Dasha

(The adoption is complete and we are signing the girls out of the orphanage. We are with the director, teachers, and our facilitator.)

(A family picture overlooking Kiev the day before we flew back to America)

March 3, 2005

Friends and Family,I'm writing this email from the USO at Chicago O'hare, waiting for our flight to San Antonio. WE ARE DONE!!! We're here with our girls, totally exhausted and jet lagged but relieved to be on American Soil again.

I have to thank alot of people for making this happen, first of all God who was involved in every step of the way. He made this whole adventure a giant testimony and a great growing experience for Melissa and I.

Next our own families who have supported all the way. Also, our adoption "agent" here in USA, Cathy Harris of Ukrainian Angels who made this a reality after we dropped our original agency. Next those who helped us in Ukraine, Mindy Grammar, Elena Koripko, and Georgia.

I'm tired, or else I'd type some funny stories. Our daughters are awesome and very different. We love them so much and are blessed to have them in our family.Pictures to follow, sometime down the road!

Love,Mike, Melissa, Stasia, and Dasha

(The first picture of the girls on American soil. We made it home. Praise GOD!!!)

Off to Germany, here we go!

2008-09-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

My second entry and my mind is scrambling with things to say. Life has been turned upside down as of two days ago. My husband found out on Tuesday that we are moving to Germany next June. YEAHHHHHH! I can't believe we are going overseas. I am so excited and then all of a sudden struck with fear. I'm taking five kids with me! How is this going to be possible. I told a friend of mine that our other option, Little Rock, AR, would have been a "Me" move. I could organize, arrange, and move our little family to another assignment. It would have been me. But God obviously has grander plans for me, one that includes more humility. Moving to Germany will be a "God" move.
I admit right now that I do not know how this is going to happen. I realize I can only take one step in front of the other and know that God has ordained it all. It was not a surprise to Him for us to get this wonderful assignment and it will be no surprise how we get there. I sometimes wish He would show me a glimpse or fast forward play of what will take place. And again realize He knows better. I would probably stress out and ask Him what woman was He just looking at.
So as we prepare for Mike to leave for training in early December, please pray that God will give us discernment with all our moving decisions - do we sell our house, can we be with him while he is at training for six months, what do we plan to take with us, what will stay, what clothes can I pack in a suitcase that I want to wear for the next 6 months, what clothes can I pack for my kids that will still fit them in 6 months...?
We feel so incredibly blessed with this opportunity. So now from the border of Mexico we prepare for Europe knowing God will be with us every step of the way!

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

With much excitement,
Melissa

My first blog

2008-08-31T14:17:00.000-07:00

OK, OK. So after attending a Beth Moore conference in San Antonio, Texas and meeting many wonderful women, I finally succumbed to the pressure of creating my own blog. I must admit that I didn't think that I would have very much to offer in interest to others. However, I realized that God has given each of us a story. Some better than others, but each a testimony nonetheless. I hope that by sharing my experiences, God will get the glory for all that He has done in my life.
So here goes... I am foremost a Christian who loves God greatly and cannot thank Him enough for the provision He provided on the cross. Without Him, I would be nothing, literally. Second, I am a military wife. I am very proud of my husband, Mike, and his service to our country. Third, I am a mother who is humbled and greatful to God for blessing me with five adopted children. I can't believe He trusts me so much! Fourth, I am a sister to five wonderful siblings whom I love and miss very much being that we are all over the place. I had an eventful and very fulfilled childhood while being loved by two sets of wonderful parents. And lastly, I am a proud Fightin' Texas Aggie (class of '98)-Whoop! It took me six years to graduate college, but I am well rounded in my studies and all the wiser.
As I add more comments to the blog, you'll see that almost everything will encompass one of those areas of my life. I pray that you will enjoy reading and sharing what God is doing in my life.