Our Ukrainian Adoption

As you already know, Mike and I have adopted five kids by the grace of God. Here is the story of our first adoption when we adopted Stasia and Dasha from Ukraine. When we found out we couldn't have children, we decided immediately to adopt. We felt strongly that God wanted us to adopt siblings. Knowing from other testimonies how difficult adoption can be, we decided to email our friends and family to pray with us the whole way. I am attaching the email updates that we sent out detailing our journey, feelings, God stories and more of one of the happiest days for Mike and I. It is long, but shares our experiences as they were happening.

January 26, 2005

Friends and Family,Melissa and I received our invitation from the National Adoption Center in Ukraine for an appointment on February 9th to begin the process for adopting our children. We will be working really hard to get all our last minute plans ironed out to be able to make the trip happen. Our agency may ask for an extension since everything is such short notice, but we are making arrangements to travel just in case we cannot change appointment days.If we go on the original date, then we will most likely complete our adoption and be returned back to Texas by early March if everything goes well. Please keep us in your prayers as we make preparations to add two children to the family, and pray that our process is smooth. Email will be the best way to get updates, but we don't have much time for individaul replies (we are completing the sale on our house, getting all our paperwork arranged, and making travel plans, etc.)

With love,Mike and Melissa


February 5, 2005

Friends and Family,Within two weeks of getting our adoption appointment date, Melissa and I have managed to pull together all the required paperwork, make all our travel arrangements, purchase our new home in Del Rio, fire our adoption contacts in the Ukraine, hire new ones, and move out of our lodging into another building here at Randolph AFB. Also, I managed to pass my first T-6 checkride while all of this was going on... No way we could have done all of this without your prayers and the help of an almighty God. We can hardly believe the way everything has fallen into place, but we will be stepping on a plane in tomorrow to Kiev to meet our new children. If you are interested in our whole adoption story and the testimony that God is building, we could write a book. That will be a story for another day, but let me say that the ending is not written yet so please continue to remember us in your prayers the next few weeks. We will send email updates from Ukraine and appreciate your words of encouragement.

Love, Mike and Melissa


February 10, 2005

Hello everyone,Here we are in Kiev enjoying the frigid Ukrainian winter. We arrived safely on Monday very late in the evening and managed to quickly process through customs. We had to declare the cash we brought to pay for adoption fees and I laughed when the customs agent said in a thick Russian accent, "Show me the money". I wanted to try and get him to shout it by saying "What?" over and over again but it was very late and it had been nearly 24 hours since we left San Antonio.

($11,000 cash for all the fees we'd ned to pay- we spent it all and more!)

Kiev was kinda shady at night, but our apartment is very nice and a pleasure to return to at the end of the day. Tuesday was document translation day and recover from our travel day. We met up with Mindy Grammar, Melissa's roommate from Texas A&M who does missions work in Kiev. It was a grand reunion and everyday so far we have spent some time with Mindy.

Wednesday was our appointment date, so we arrived at the National Adoption Center to learn that because our documents were all recently updated (the day prior) we would be on the waiting list for an appointment. We waited for 4 hours in the lobby to learn that we would have to come back on Thursday since they ran out of time that day. Melissa had to listen to me lecture on how silly the system is here and it could be better. The best example is that the most stressful event of the adoption is the selection process where they lay out hundreds of photos and papers of children available and make you pick the ones you will visit in 30 minutes! I sat in the lobby for 4 hours and didn't look at one folder... Silly...So we returned to the NAC today for a scheduled appointment.

Melissa and I came here for two children, preferably twins or a sibling group of very young age. We were shown only children ranging from 8 to 15 years old initially, and after turning away hundreds of heartbreaking pictures and explaining to our facilitator that the children were too old for a young couple like us did we begin to see younger children that they somehow forgot to show us initially...After nearly 40 minutes of paper shuffling, we came across two sisters, Annastasia (7) and Darina (5) who only recently became available for adoption. My heart jumped and the rest of the pictures just passed away. Melissa had a good feeling about them too so we asked the important questions. Their health is good, they have different surnames but the same mother which means they might have different fathers. They have only been in the orphanage since 2003 which is good compared to some dates we saw. They are together and live in a town named Sumy, not far from the Russian border (it's close to Kursk).We had a peace about it which quickly became excitement. (No diapers!!!) Are these two girls the ones God had set aside for us? We hope to find out when we meet them on Saturday or Monday.

Please continue to pray because the process is far from over. There is much more bureacracy to overcome and a dramatic first meeting on the horizon.Kiev is nice, Ukrainian people are wonderful, and we haven't gotten sick yet. I do have a flare up in my neck injury, but we will see a chiropractor named Vladomir tomorrow. Maybe he can straiten me out!!!

Lots of love,Mike and Melissa

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.


February 14, 2005 Valentine’s Day

Hello from Sumy, Ukraine.These last two days have been the greatest of Melissa and my married life. It's like all the waiting and praying for the last two years has paid off with a blessing beyond all others we have ever experienced since our wedding!!!Here's the details. We left for Sumy on Sunday with the necessary paperwork to meet the Anastasia and Darina who we picked out of hundreds of children because of a nudge from God. We rolled into town and made arrangements for a place to stay. We are in a soviet era apartment complex which is maybe 900 Sq Ft. We share it with our interpreter, Elena, and it is comfortable enough for our stay here.

We were very nervous when we pulled up to the orphanage the first time. It looked vacant from the outside, but was in the middle of the city, surrounded by apartments. The snow around the building and in the playground was not new, but their were no tracks. The children don't go outside in the yard to play in the winter.

(The outside of Stasia and Dasha's orphanage-this is one of the better ones!)

We walked in and were escorted to the directors office where we met the director, a very friendly lady who sent for the girls.I had warned Melissa that even though our hopes were high that this day would be our chance to evaluate whether the girls would fit into our family and discern what God was telling us to do.

All our hopes were fufilled instantly as we saw Darina (Dasha as she is called for a nickname) come running around the corner and come to a complete stop at the door.She was beautiful with hair in pony tails and bell bottom suede pants that were barely hanging on. Our hearts melted right away and knew that we were looking at our new daughter. She came up to us and stood between Melissa and I as we talked with her through our interpreter. "What is your name?" "How old are you?" The typical questions, we introduced ourselves and then Anastasia walked in. Another heart melting and we knew again what was meant to be.Melissa gave them some gifts we brought. A teddy bear for each and some gum candy. They were happy for the gifts and we laughed as we tried to teach them to say "Thank You". We then asked if they knew why we had come to the orphanage. Dasha responded "Amerkanski"... Yes, we want to ask you to be part of our family. Somehow the translation came out "Mama and Papa" Which brought a smile to both of their faces and hugs all around. It was better than Christmas!!! We asked if they wanted to come back to America with us and be our daughters and they both said "Da!"Melissa then pulled out one more present, a picture we had taken together in Kiev. We handed it to both of the girls and asked who it was in the picture. Dasha immediatly said "Mama! Papa!" It was a moment we will all never forget. We made more small talk and discussed their health, which is good, and some of the adoption specifics while they sat on our laps and played with their teddy bears. We were there nearly an hour before we said farewell, and promised to return later in the day (it was their nap time).

(Our first family picture after meeting them ten minutes before.)

Anastasia just turned 7 in January. She is the spitting image of my big sister Danielle with the same hair and facial features. I thought she was Danielle many times and know they share more than just looks. We have taken to calling her Stacia. She was not raised in State care, her mother raised her until she was 5 when she could no longer care for her and placed her in the orphanage. Dasha was raised from birth in the orphanages and has had very little contact with her mother. They were never really aware of each other until they were both placed in the same orphanage two years ago, which is when they became very close. Stacia is very shy, and took some time to warm up and talk with us. She also responds better to Melissa, since the orphanages have all women staff. Darina attached immediatly to us. She is clingy and talks even though we don't understand each other. She runs from place to place and reminds me of what I must of been like as a child, a little bit of a hell raiser! They balance each other out but the wierdest thing is that Stacia follows Darina everywhere and there is no doubt who the boss is. I've never seen a younger sibling with so much power, except maybe Christi.

We couldn't be happier and since the first meeting we have played with them in the gym numerous times. They will be a perfect fit to the Pontiff, Villarreal, and Worley clans. I know that when each of you sees the pictures, you will see that we were a family long before our first meeting. God has an amazing way of working things out. One minute later, and we may never have met them (another family was considering them).

Please continue to pray because the bureacracy in this country is amazingly confusing. It will take a few more weeks just to get through the courts, the paperwork must be perfect. A lot of it is out of our hands and depends on translators and people we have hired. Also, we have to pay a certain "expedited" fee which in the states we could call "bribe" for every bit of our process. It's in God's hands still, so keep praying.

Thank you for your support and emails so far.

Love,Mike, Melissa, Stacia, and Dasha

February 17, 2005

Hello friends and family,Thanks so much for all of the encouraging emails. Melissa and I are so overwhelmed with the support and affection we feel from all of you around the world. We would like to reply to them all but you will understand that technology here isn't quite as good as the USA. We will try to get around to it!

So the story continues...After our first meeting with Stasia and Dasha, we have been to the orphanage every day to interact and play with them. We usually get 3 or 4 hours a day with them. They still belong to the State, so they must live in the orphanage but we can see them generally whenever. They cannot leave with us, not yet!!! In our short times shared together we can easily feel the bonds of love growing stronger and more intense. Melissa and I had to sit down and talk about our feelings for some time since these are our first children and all new emotions are welling up! She has to share my affections with two other girls, but we're OK with that. ; )

Now for the cute stories. The girls needed some blood work to be cleared medically for the adoption. We went to the orphanage one morning to see the girls and they were at the hospital getting the tests. We walked outside of the orphanage just as they came around the corner from their taxi ride. Dasha came running to me so fast that she slipped on the ice and fell at my feet before I could grab her. I scooped her up and saw nothing but joy in her eyes! In her cute russian voice she tried to tell me she had been hurt by the needle and I could tell from her nose she had been crying.

The saddest part of this outdoor experience is that several other children in the orphanage were watching from the window and we could hear them yelling "Mama, Papa". It just breaks your heart to see them.Stasia was playing with a rotating metal ring which she would spin while her sister tried to toss bean bags through. She leaned over to spin it one time and it bumped her head. Melissa's maternal instincts kicked in right away and she went to comfort Stasia. Melissa just held her and rocked while she cried quietly and recuperated from the blow. It was like they were both longing for that very moment from the first time we met, Melissa to hold and love her and Stasia to feel loved and protected. It was amazing to watch!We are told this is one of the better orphanages our facilitator has seen. The children are educated and disciplined, the facility is good, and there are good directors. Many children in Ukrainian orphanages are not available for international adoption because the parents put them in for temporary economic reasons. In Dasha's group there are 17 children but only 3 available for adoption. The girls really love our digital camera, and have taken to posing like models then running over to see what the photo looks like. They have learned numbers through ten and can do the "Hokey Pokey" although they haven't figured out difference between right and left and mama and papa are the only ones singing.

Some amazing testimonies now...One of the Ukrainian documents had expired, Stasia's father's releasing parental rights. Although no one had seen him or heard from him in Sumy for several years, we needed to redo the form in front of Notary before we could proceed. Our facilitator tracked him to another town, and found him 20 minutes before he would be leaving for a long trip. WHOA!!!! This event saved us several weeks of waiting!!! The form was updated and things are proceeding nicely. The prayers are paying off!

We still need prayer that our forms are correct, our facilitator left for Kiev today to get approval from the National Adoption Center to complete the adoption. We should have a court date by the end of next week and the girls will officially belong to our family. Timing is still the biggest prayer request. If things continue at their current pace we could be back in San Antonio the end of the first week of March which would be wonderful!We are now alone in Sumy, no translators. Just our girls, and a piece of paper with English on one end and Russian on the other so we can point to places we want our cab drive to go. McDonalds is spelled the same in both languages...

We love and miss all of you.Mike, Melissa, Stasia (pronounced Stay-sha), and Dasha (like Tasha, but with a D).

February 22, 2005

Hello Friends and Family,No giant news since our last update, we are still just waiting for Thursday to find out if the National Adoption Center has appoved our adoption request. IF everything is OK, we will have court on Friday, leave for Kiev with our new daughters on Saturday, have an appointment at the Embassy Monday, and be home by Wednesday the 2nd of March!!!! Oh, what a praise that would be. Our biggest prayer request is the timing. I only have leave until the 15th of March and still need to get the family all moved into our new house in Del Rio.

The last few visits have been very encouraging. The reality of parenthood is beginning to set in, we had to dicipline Dasha for the first time because she was simply out of control. All the books we have read went out the window as we tried patiently to calm her down, but she thought everything was just a game. All she knows of Mama and Papa so far is that we are like giant toys. We found a way to nicely let her know that things are serious and she is beginning to respond to directions.

I think these days of short visits is beneficial because Melissa and I walk away from each visit with some things to talk about without the girls, so we can begin to develop our parenting skills as a team. It's like having a timeout in a game to reform the plan. Soon, there will be no timeouts!

The most encouraging part of the last few days was that we finally had a serious talk with them about God. We have been able to pray with them everyday but they didn't understand what it was all about because we couldn't explain anything. Yesterday, we had our friend Mindy there and she translated for us what we had been trying to show them with actions for so many other days.

We asked had they ever prayed before and the answer was that they had been to church. We explained that prayer is a time we talk to God. They asked who is this God? We were able to tell them that God is good and creator of the world. We also told them that God brought us together from so many miles apart and made us a family. Mindy translated quite effectively and the girls began to understand that prayer is a chance to thank God for making us a family. For the first time they were quiet and reverent for our prayer together.It made us both so glad! It was like the first real family prayer.

We have so many more stories to tell but we are going over to visit with them some more this afternoon.Thanks again for your prayers and encouragement.

Mike, Melissa, Stasia, and Dasha


February 25, 2005

Friends and Family,It gives me great pleasure to announce the adoption of Anastasia Gabrielle Pontiff and Darina Elizabeth Pontiff on February 25th, at 0920 Ukrainian Time. The girls weigh about 60 lbs and 50 lbs respectively, and are almost 4 feet tall. Mother is doing fine and father is nearly out of money...

Today marked the end of a chapter of Melissa and my journey together, and the beginning of our walk as a family. On Thursday night we received a call from our facilitator saying all the paperwork was in order at the National Adoption Center and we were cleared to proceed with the adoption.

This morning, we met with the orphanage director, the director of schools, our girls, and a judge of the region of Sumy. I was a little nervous walking into the judges chambers but the smiles on our girls faces washed away all our anxiety and we just had a conversation with the judge. As he reviewed our paperwork, he asked questions, "Will Melissa be working, tell me about your house, why did you come to Ukraine, how was your contact with the girls, etc..." We answered all his questions and waited patiently for a decision.

His last question was directed to the girls. "Stasia, do you want to go with them?" "Da!" "Dasha, do you want to go with them?" "Da!"The judge immediately replied, "Then, you will go." Just like that, Melissa and I became the legal parents of our new daughters.

We spent the rest of the day doing paperwork and changing names and other legal mumbo-jumbo. When the day closed, we were only waiting for the completion of their passports which will probably happen on Monday or Tuesday. We expect to be home in San Antonio on the 2nd or 3rd of March.

We have received requests for gifts for the girls, and I can tell you that we have nothing for them so far. Since we came to the Ukraine unsure of gender or age, we didn't buy anything prior to coming here. We have purchased 3 outfits to get them home but plan on buying everything when we get home. So, the range of presents you can buy is limitless since they don't have anything. Gift certificates are preferable but all ranges of clothes (just aim for 7 year old girls) and toys would be acceptable and appreciated.We'll send out another update as things progress.

Please continue the prayers, because we are not home yet!

Mike, Melissa, Stasia and Dasha

(The adoption is complete and we are signing the girls out of the orphanage. We are with the director, teachers, and our facilitator.)

(A family picture overlooking Kiev the day before we flew back to America)

March 3, 2005

Friends and Family,I'm writing this email from the USO at Chicago O'hare, waiting for our flight to San Antonio. WE ARE DONE!!! We're here with our girls, totally exhausted and jet lagged but relieved to be on American Soil again.

I have to thank alot of people for making this happen, first of all God who was involved in every step of the way. He made this whole adventure a giant testimony and a great growing experience for Melissa and I.

Next our own families who have supported all the way. Also, our adoption "agent" here in USA, Cathy Harris of Ukrainian Angels who made this a reality after we dropped our original agency. Next those who helped us in Ukraine, Mindy Grammar, Elena Koripko, and Georgia.

I'm tired, or else I'd type some funny stories. Our daughters are awesome and very different. We love them so much and are blessed to have them in our family.Pictures to follow, sometime down the road!

Love,Mike, Melissa, Stasia, and Dasha

(The first picture of the girls on American soil. We made it home. Praise GOD!!!)